In my youth, it seems like I was always doing something dangerous. I climbed to the tippy top of tall trees. I drove jalopies with shiny bald tires and paper-thin brake pads down steep mountain roads. And perhaps most dangerously, I would tell women who asked me whether a dress made them look fat – […]
Many average Americans, perhaps you, are confused about the GameStop financial scandal. You may be asking, ‘What does this all mean?’ And, ‘Will it affect me and my family’s financial stability?’ The short answers to these important questions are: Number 1. It’s complicated. And, Number 2. Yes, it means certain financial devastation for you and […]
Authorities are investigating the assault on the U.S. Capitol to determine whether it was a coordinated attack. I have no formal training in crime scene reconstruction or political terrorism investigation. However, my youngest daughter, Emma, and I have watched several seasons of Project Runway. So, I am in a position to offer an opinion on the […]
Like most patriotic Americans, I only have a select number of trusted information sources. The first is the Bible. The second is the Encyclopedia Britannica. And the third, of course, is Snapple. Snapple always puts a “Real Facts” note underneath their bottle caps. The following is a sample of real “Real Facts.” (Sadly, I […]
Virtually every American, (99.6%), make a New Year’s resolution, and 99.5% of those resolutions are about their weight. Sadly, a mere 36 hours later, 99.4% of these doe-eyed hopefuls are plopped on a couch polishing off a quart of Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby” ice cream. Lucky for you, I’m here to help. Why? Because […]
The final sign that the world is ending has arrived. The first sign, of course, was World War II. The second sign was the “Great Plague,” which we call the Coronavirus Pandemic. And now, at long last, the final sign is here. You have seen this sign all around you, both in print and on […]
Former Trump lawyer, Sidney Powell, recently announced during a press conference that soon, VERY SOON, she would, “Release the Kraken!” Which, of course, made everybody immediately ask: A. What is a Kraken? And, B. What happens when you release it? A quick internet search will tell you that “the kraken” is a mythical sea creature […]
I grew up in Alsea, Oregon. My friend Michael McCowan and I spent 27 hours a day wandering around in the woods, and we kept our eyes peeled because we figured there was always a chance we might stumble across a bigfoot. We weren’t stupid. We knew there was no guarantee we’d see one. In […]
Like you, I have been watching too much tv lately. And now that all the dead people have finally mailed in their ballots for “Good ‘ole Joe,” Wolf Blitzer can get back to hyperventilating over Covid-19. This is important, because after a mere two million hours of coverage, the media is sensing that we, the […]
If I may speak seriously for a moment, I need to make one thing clear. I stand on principle, and there is one principle on which I will not compromise. Here it is: Even if it only saves one life, implementing every safeguard to prevent the spread of Covid-19 is critical during this pivotal moment […]