How to Make a Million Dollars in Less Than 60 Seconds

Let’s not kid ourselves.  When we think about what’s really important in life, we think about family.  We think about friends.  We think about deeply meaningful experiences.  And, of course, we think about the most important thing – MONEY.   

This is why I feel compelled to share my no-frills, “guaranteed to get you a million bucks” action plan.  I call it, “How to Make a Million Dollars in Less Than 60 Seconds.”  I’m not pulling your leg.  This plan doesn’t just work most of the time, it works EVERY SINGLE TIME!

I suggest that you get a pen or pencil out to take notes or copy and paste this Jocularious column into a file on your computer.  Be sure to back up your computer file with Carbonite.com, or print it out and hide it under your mattress.

This plan involves three simple steps.  It is critical that you follow each and every step in order, and DO NOT skip any of the steps.

Here is the formula –

First, graduate from high school with a 4.0 gpa, and get a SAT score in the top 3% nationally.

Second, enroll in an Ivy League University and obtain a degree in Finance.

Third, secure a job on Wall Street as an investment banker. 

Yes!  It’s that easy!

AND, even reading slowly, it took me less than 20 seconds to read this entire formula.  I really should rename this column, How to Make a Million Dollars in Less Than 20 Seconds. 

I sincerely hope my advice met your expectations.  This is, of course, my goal with every Jocularious column.  (I said “goal,” people!)

And, even if you don’t follow my advice, at least you’ve got that “family, friends and meaningful experiences” thing going for you.

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