Jim Gaffigan is the storm trooper of stand-up comedy. Search his name on YouTube or Netflix if his name is a mystery to you. Fair warning, be prepared to spend quality time listening to him expound on the multitude of challenges encountered by the Average Joe, that is if the Average Joe was named Jim and had five young kids. You can thank me or curse me later. His comedy is addictive. That said, people are addicted to both positive and negative things. Aerobic exercise – good (not for me, of course). Black tar heroin – arguably bad. With this in mind, let’s evaluate Jim Gaffigan’s cost/benefit ratio.
You, one of my millions of loyal readers, may ask yourself, who is Jack Edwards to answer this question. Well, I’m a guy with a laptop, internet access (until my neighbor secures his router), and too much time on my hands; that’s who I am. But I am also a “student of the game.” You see, I’ve devoted far more hours than are normal or healthy to watching Jim Gaffigan’s specials on Netflix (complete with frame by frame analysis), and reading his book, Dad is Fat. My copy is dog-eared (My Corgy Walter got ahold of it). Let’s just say that I now know far more about the almost infinite varieties of Hot Pockets than is healthy for any middle-aged man.
Let’s get to it:
Reasons Jim Gaffigan is a Hero:
- He makes us feel okay about marching into McDonalds and ordering three Big Macs with extra sauce (enough to lube a Toyota Carolla), and even better about answering that iconic question, “Do you want to supersize it?” with a confident, and unhesitating, “I’ll dive across this counter and slam your head into the McMilkshake machine if you don’t.”
- He makes us feel okay about living a sedentary lifestyle, where the most activity in one’s day is placing a Hot Pocket in the microwave and then engaging in the aerobic exercise of standing upright peering through the little window waiting for the seconds to tick off the clock only to break down and push the stop button to retrieve the prize seconds before the recommended cooking time. (Aren’t they already cooked? Precooked? I think it’s safe to eat them like a Popsicle if you want.)
- His alien-like translucence gives the rest of us the false impression that our skin is tanned akin to the average Mediterranean cabana boy.
Reasons he is a villain:
- See #1, #2 and #3 above – especially #2.
As we can determine from this Nobel Prize worthy analysis, I may actually be Jim Gaffigan. Wait a minute – You may be Jim Gaffigan! Just what kind of a Twilight Zone episode have I been sucked into?
Jim Gaffigan is a villero. He’s half villain and half hero. You wouldn’t mind having him over for dinner, but you wouldn’t post it on Facebook. He is in truth, the crack cocaine of comedy. Slap a PG-13 sticker on his pasty forehead and enjoy. But, like so many other guilty obsessions, please, don’t let the habit interfere with your day job.
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