One of my readers recently asked me if I ever just made something up. Whether I’d written something that wasn’t true – even outright lied. As you can imagine, I was shocked. l was deeply offended that anyone would feel the need to ask this. Of course, I lie! I lie in my columns all […]
I shamelessly stole this story from a friend who I will refer to for the purposes of this column as “Bo.” This is because his true, accurate and legal name is Bo Mackey. Bo told me this story in confidence, so please, whatever you do, keep it to yourself. It is now my favorite story. […]
My beautiful daughter bought me a Hydro Flask for my birthday. I was touched by her thoughtfulness – for nearly 24 hours. Then I realized that she had taken the saying, “When you buy a gift, buy something you’d like to have yourself,” a little too far. It dawned on me that she had IN […]
By Jack Edwards We’ll get to the disturbing similarities between wildlife officials and drug dealers in a moment, but first, the background: Every year, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife holds a “Free Fishing Weekend.” This is the one weekend of the year that people can fish without a license. Now, let it be […]
By Jack Edwards I know what you’re thinking. With all the humor that a smash and grab creates, why limit the list to three? Well, I’ve got to draw the line somewhere, and I need to reserve time to sweep up the glass and get the repair estimates. So here’s the story- My daughter, who […]
Every word of this story is true. Well, almost every word of this story is true. Okay, part of this story is true. Okay, okay, this story was inspired by a true story (that someone told me about). Let’s call it, “Hollywood true.” It involves a man being abducted by aliens who conducted a series […]
I began studying Korean four weeks ago by optimistically learning the sentence: “Please speak Korean very slowly.” After putting in this time, one thing has become abundantly clear. As a result, I have learned a new sentence. This new sentence will be instrumental during my trip to Korea this fall. Here is my new sentence: […]
I am OFFICIALLY calling on the United States Commerce Department to launch an “all out investigation” into the devious and patently unfair marketing strategy (i.e. “scheme”) of one of our nation’s preeminent industries. I think you know what industry I’m talking about. I also think you agree with me that this industry has been “coddled” […]
Yesterday, I accidentally ate a hamburger the size of a Greyhound Bus. Only it didn’t go down so smooth. This was all Ken Kesey’s fault. Yeah, I know he’s dead, but that doesn’t make it right. I live in Eugene, Oregon, where author and Grateful Dead groupie Ken Kesey is revered. He’s like a white […]
By Jack Edwards I take deep pleasure in hiking through the great outdoors. At the mere suggestion from my wife that we go for a hike, usually at gun point, I hop right off the couch. So I guess you can call me an “outdoor enthusiast.” This is why I was riveted by news that […]