EMERGENCY NEWS ALERT: Sources report that research conducted by a Harvard professor has found that people who subscribe to humor blogs are 77% more likely to be smarter, richer, and MUCH better looking. Interestingly enough, it also found that subscribers have fresher breath.
Because the coronavirus outbreak did not occur until the final weeks of the study, researchers could not DEFINITIVELY establish whether subscribers had a stronger immunity to the deadly virus; however, the evidence heavily suggested a stronger immune system.
In a magnanimous effort to be fully transparent with you, my loyal readers, I must make one disclosure. (It’s really nothing to worry about):
I no longer have my copy of the actual study.
This is due to a tragic circumstance beyond my control: Milo the Dog ate my copy of the article. No, I am not making this up. Milo, in fact, ate my copy of the article. As a result, you’re going to have to either try and find a copy of this study on your own, or better yet, take my word for it.
Some of you may be mildly suspicious of my claim. I understand your skepticism. Readers have reported to me that they cannot find this study. And frankly, this concerns me, especially, because they say this in a tone that implies I’m lying. I am not lying. The reason this study has gone missing is obvious. You’ve probably already guessed it. Yes, one word: China.
Red China has had it out for freedom loving humor writers ever since the Communist Revolution. Why did you think they created all those reeducation camps? Let me put it this way. The People’s Republic wasn’t encouraging a lot of laughter within the barracks.
Look people, I am not saying that humor blog subscribers are smarter than the average Josephine. Harvard Educated Scientists are saying it.
Take this simple quiz to find out if you should be subscribing to a humor blog –
1. Are you smarter than the average ignoramus you’re forced to deal with on a daily basis?
2. Are you better looking than the average slob with a face like a ham sandwich.
3. Are you richer (or would you be richer if it weren’t for all the international conglomerates and “insider” currency manipulators) than the average Dollar Store clerk?
If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you are a narcissist and should be heavily medicated. The good news is that you are also the PERFECT person to subscribe to a humor blog.
But then the question arises…
Where can I find a humor blog?
Got a moment?
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Also, consider subscribing – It’s free!
It’s a Three Minute Vacation for your Brain.
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