Oliver the Cat, AKA, Meditation Guru

Oliver the Cat is a meditation expert.

A year and a half ago I stumbled on a book by ABC newsman Dan Harris.  The title is 10% Happier.  I’m not entirely sure Dan would agree, but here is my summary:

Arrogant news reporter loses his mind and becomes a crazy drug addict.  After he hits rock bottom, a counsellor suggests he try meditation.  Dan thinks the idea is even crazier than being a crazy drug addict, but out of desperation, gives it a shot. Low and behold, it cures him. 

Dan is a skeptic.  He’s not into any religious aspects of mediation.  However, Dan is BIG TIME into the scientific research on meditation.  And the research is as clear as a Baccarat crystal vase that meditation provides demonstrable benefits.  They include:

Reducing stress

Lessening anxiety

Increasing attention span

And freshening breath.  (Okay, I was required to add this last one to meet “Humor-column Union” requirements. You don’t want to mess with those union thugs.)

I decided to try meditation.  And guess what?  I take the oath to become a Buddhist monk tomorrow.  Just kidding!  But, seriously, I do believe I’ve benefited.  I think it’s helped me remain calm in stressful situations, be more focused, and helped regenerate the hair on my bald spot.  Okay, sadly, my bald spot continues to  shine like an aircraft beacon, but I have noticed the first two benefits.

There are many types of meditation ­– Basic breath meditation, “Loving kindness” meditation, “Mantra” meditation, and Naked meditation.  Okay, I’ve never ACTUALLY heard of Naked meditation, but I’m sure some free soul is out there meditating au naturel.

The most common method of meditation is breath meditation.  You sit comfortably in a position where your spine is relatively straight, and you focus your mind on your breathing.  Whenever your mind starts to wander (which it will try to do every nano second) you simply bring your mind back to your breath. 

Now, please do not attempt to get your meditation advice from me.  People have been practicing meditation for thousands of years, and I’ve been dabbling for 18 months.  So, what I’m saying is, if you take your meditation instruction from me, you’re as crazy as Dan Harris back when he was on the pipe. 

Oliver’s problem is that he’s only ten inches high.  Try as he might, he simply cannot reach the doorbell.  This means that Oliver spends hours crouched down staring blankly at the door waiting for it to open.

I routinely open the door and find him sitting there frozen.  It takes him a moment to “come to” and race through the door.  So, it’s become clear to me.  THIS CAT IS MEDITATING!  He meditates for hours and hours each week. AND, he’s ten times better at it than me!

My point is this ̶   Oliver meditates on a regular basis, and he is, at the very least, 10% happier than I am.  In fact, Oliver and Dan Harris really should co-write another book. 

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