Milo the Dog ventured south from Portland this week to enjoy some “me time,” in Eugene. For those of you who don’t speak dog, “me time” is doggy language which translates to “pee time.” It’s a time to pee on new and exciting things – birch trees, box plants, landscape ornamentals, and distracted neighbors.
Oliver the Cat, who has been living in our home as a squatter since last year, translates “me time” to “eat me time.” This is Oliver’s greatest fear, and what he believes is Milo’s primary goal between his pee times.
Thankfully, the weather is cooperating, and we’ll have wonderful dog-walking conditions this week. Here’s the forecast
not enjoying a nice walk through the daily monsoon, Milo enjoys spending time
in the spa (living room) between his pee times, getting his beauty rest –
Living with both Oliver and Milo is like playing a 24-hour game of Tetris. Oliver goes into the utility hall while Milo is in the house but is let to roam freely when Milo is outside. Prior to letting Milo back into the house, we must find Oliver, take him prisoner, and transport him either back into the utility hall or put him outside. Luckily, when he’s not napping (which he only does 23 hours a day), Oliver likes to spend as much time outside as possible looking for creatures to torture and eat.
I recently caught this action shot of Oliver (don’t blink) –
One of the most exciting things about having Milo visit, is that it gives me a chance to become the key prosecution witness in a murder trial. As everyone who watches an unhealthy number of true crime TV shows is well aware, the “key” witness in every murder trial is some poor sap out walking his dog at midnight. Here is an official excerpt of a murder trial transcript (well, it would be official, if I hadn’t made it up):
Prosecutor: “What time was it when you saw the baldheaded man with the bloody knife run from the gazebo and race away in the dilapidated Dodge Durango?
Key “Dog-Walking” Witness: “Uh… About midnight.”
Prosecutor (with a sour look on his face like he just bit into a rotten peanut M&M): I rest my case, Your Honor.”
Sadly, I think it is far too rainy this week for me to witness any murders. So, there goes that opportunity. The only way I think I’ll get to witness a murder is if Milo’s “me time,” I mean “pee time,” REALLY becomes “eat me time.” Good luck, Oliver! We’re rooting for you!
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