A plague looms over us. A plague so ominous it threatens our very way of life. A life-threatening plague. I am, of course, speaking about the invasion of the Murder Hornets.
I survived the last media-inspired killer insect scare back in the 1970s – the “Killer Bees.” As a veteran of the Killer Bee Hysteria, I have some advice – “Chill-acks.” Back in the 70s, the Killer Bees got the media’s panties in a bunch. In the end, however, the threat had as much fizzle as a day-old soda.
Murder hornets aside, if you been paying close attention to the news, you may have also noticed a little something called the coronavirus.
Everybody’s now wondering what the “new normal” will look like. I don’t know, but I’m fairly sure it’s going to involve wearing a lot of pajamas. Media tagline: “Pajamas – the new business casual.”
I’ve been trying to maintain a semblance of my old routine. It’s difficult, what with having to get up each morning and eat a quart of ice cream before pondering how many days it’s been since I showered.
This leads me to an extremely sensitive subject. As difficult as it is, it’s probably something I should confess to you.
Our society has a set of well-understood rules. These rules are vital to our maintaining a sense of order. Many of these rules draw clear and distinct lines we should never cross.
Here is my confession (insert drumroll) – I crossed one.
Last Saturday, I wore my pajamas to the bank. Yeah, I know! In my defense, I forgot I was wearing pajamas until I was getting into my car. I paused for a moment and considered going back into the house to change. But, I rationalized, I was only going to be using the drive thru.
Driving away from the bank, I’m not going to lie to you, I experienced a moment of deep self-reflection.
Speaking of moments, the lockdown has left me with quite a few extra moments.
I’ve spent some of those extra moments on Twitter. A new follower’s profile says he’s from Thunder Bay, Ontario. When I saw this, I thought to myself, why can’t I be from someplace cool sounding like Thunder Bay? The name Thunder Bay evokes a sense of adventure and an exciting mystic. Then I thought to myself, wait a minute, maybe there is something I can do about this.
I continued tapping around on Twitter, and I came upon a guy announcing that he was planning to cook some ramps for lunch. Ramps? The only ramps I’ve ever come across are boat ramps. Then again, I am from Alsea. Well, I should say I was from Alsea. Check my Twitter profile. Now, I’m from Thunder Bay!
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Also, before you leave –
Check out these great books:
The Lawyer’s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness
Seven Rules for the College Playground
Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer