How To Become A Chicken Wing Hero

I don’t want to compare myself to the freedom fighters in Hong Kong, but there arise moments in our lives where we must choose to either step up and act for the greater good or back away and allow wrong to prevail.  Good versus evil.  I came to such a crossroads recently.  It tested my very fiber.  Was it on a dusty street in a communist country?  Not exactly.  It was at a Safeway chicken wing bar. 

It occurred at the end of a long day.  I stopped by Safeway for some takeout.  Safeway has a chicken wing cart near its deli.  They put out six flavors.  Among them are BBQ, Buffalo, General Tso’s, and my favorite, Salt and Vinegar. 

This is where the trouble began.

I marched up to the chicken wing bar and found, for the third visit in a row, that all the Salt and Vinegar wings were gone.  COMPLETELY gone.  Yet again, I found myself staring down at an empty stainless-steel tray.  My disjointed reflection on its bottom mocked me. 

Here is the injustice: All the other trays with the other flavored wings were filled to the brim.  Salt and Vinegar wings were apparently the crack cocaine of chicken wings.  People were literally gobbling them up.  And by people, I mean people who got off work earlier than me.  Which, by the way, means that they probably weren’t working as hard as me, and therefore, did not deserve the tasty Salt and Vinegar wings nearly as much as me. 

This was my fork in the road.  This was my Birmingham.  This was my Tiananmen Square.  This was my Hong Kong.

I marched up to the deli counter and demanded to speak to the chicken wing manager.  (I was going straight to the top.) 

An older woman in a hair net emerged and said she was the manager.  I laid out my complaint in no uncertain terms.  Why in the world were they making the same quanity of all the flavors, when any moron with an IQ above room temperature could tell that Salt and Vinegar were the most popular?  It was an outrage!

The hair net lady listened patiently.  Then she explained that the store was sent a box with packets of the same amount of each seasoning for each flavor.  They used all the seasoning each day.  They were making all the Salt and Vinegar wings they could.   

Dagnabbit!  The hair net lady had me CHECK and MATE!  I had dared to step up to the precipice of the chicken wing powers, but the chicken wing powers prevailed – THIS TIME. 

I would need to retreat and regroup.

So for today, but only today, I’ll let the freedom fighters in Hong Kong take all the glory.

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