Our world is rapidly changing. Mankind’s behavior is wreaking havoc on our planet. Time is of the essence, and we must act NOW. Among our challenges is to save one of our humble creatures whose very existence teeters on the brink of extinction. I am speaking, of course, about the “thank you wave,” that little over the shoulder wave we give to drivers who let us merge in front of them.
The population of thank you waves was once abundant in North America. Herds of them roamed freely over the Great Plains as far as the eye could see. Wait, those were bison (or were they buffalo?) Anyway, as with the bison (or buffalo), we took the thank you wave for granted. And now, although there are “thank you wave deniers” yapping away on talk radio, the thank you wave stands on the precipice of complete obliteration.
President Trump even referred to this crisis during his inaugural address. I quote: “The day of drivers allowing others to cut in front of them without reciprocating with a thank you wave, IS OVER! Big league!”
I let people cut in front of me all the time on my morning commute, and the last thank you wave I got was on Christmas Eve back in 1994. Although even then, I wasn’t certain if he was just making a quick adjustment to his rear-view mirror.
I think I can speak for every American, when I say that the thank you wave is a creature we want to survive for our children, and our children’s children, and our children’s children children, and our children’s children children children. But no longer; it really should end there.
Ironically, there is one wave which we can all agree should be totally eradicated. A wave that has been nothing but a blight on the face the earth: The sports stadium “Wave.” This wave should have died a natural death along with streaking in the 1970s, but it somehow managed to hang around like a nasty case of scabies.
With your help, we can save the thank you wave. Just like we did with the buffalo. Unfortunately, we can’t use the same plan we did with the buffalo. That plan worked like a charm. Remember the old adage, if you want to save an animal from extinction, just get the American public to start eating it. We now have more bison roaming around our country than the common fruit fly. But sadly, unlike with the buffalo, we can’t simply adjust our palates to enjoy the lean, healthy taste of a thank you wave.