By Jack Edwards I just found out that I’ve been a repeat criminal since the age of 16. However, through luck or happenstance, or more likely, because I have done my best to avoid spending any more time in Georgia than absolutely necessary, I have eluded apprehension. Let me explain. The Associated Press recently reported […]
By Jack Edwards The last time I wrote about “climate change,” which I so primitively referred to as “global warming” (so passé), I failed to anticipate that otherwise peaceful, loving people, many of whom were nurturing mothers whose hands regularly caressed the soft cheeks of their precious newborns, would come after me with steak knives. […]
By Jack Edwards People choose leisure activities for a variety of reasons, including family history (golf), continuing their school sport (swimming), regional popularity (log rolling), and, in certain cases, severe and untreatable mental illness. Let’s take a hard look at that last category. We all love an adrenaline rush. That thrill of excitement. For example, […]
By Jack Edwards I have long viewed fish as “vegetables without roots.” They go about their daily fish activities (i.e. eating, pooping and procreating), as directed by their microscopically tiny fish brains. So, imagine my shock when I realized that my brain is shrinking faster than a bowl of double-fudge ice cream at a Weight […]
By Jack Edwards It only took 100 years worth of disorganized effort, bickering and petty infighting, but finally, we have a national college football championship playoff. It’s run by an outfit with the snappy title of the College Football Playoff (CFP) Administration, LLC. The CFP didn’t waste any time lollygagging around. It got right down […]
By Jack Edwards Our family had a brilliant idea. We would spend New Year’s Eve at Disneyland watching fireworks explode over the castle. Only, one little problem. Eighty-four thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-six people, people we didn’t even know, and certainly never invited, had the same brilliant idea. That’s the cut-off. 85,000. This is proof that […]
By Jack Edwards I dream that one day technology will advance to the point where I will not be forced to travel long distances, expend thousands of dollars and trudge through throngs of intoxicated sports enthusiasts to enjoy watching a college bowl game. Call me a crazy optimist, but I believe that, one day, perhaps […]
By Jack Edwards Like most men, I enjoy shopping. Especially for Christmas gifts. In fact, guys enjoy few things more than wandering aimlessly through one store after another in an endless search for the perfect gift. Over the past few years, my wife and I have found ourselves doing less of this shopping for each […]
By Jack Edwards Dr. Oz says that my telomeres are fraying, and he’s very worried about them. This “fraying” is apparently caused by stress. Sadly, now that he has alerted me to my telomere fraying problem, I have discovered a whole new level of stress. Let me explain. Every Monday I read a column in […]
By Jack Edwards Every year, I delay putting up the Christmas lights on the outside of my house, and every year, a very important person who will remain nameless (my wife) lovingly suggests that this may be due to my laziness. This is emphatically Not True. No one enjoys untangling lights in freezing temperatures and […]