By Jack Edwards It’s Baaack! And it’s bigger and uglier than any monster you’ll ever find lurking in a “B” grade horror flick. The mere thought of confronting this beast sends chills down your spine. Its name is “Lawn.” And this soulless creature raises its hideous head each spring to scream my name. It is […]
By Jack Edwards Even indigenous tribes in the deepest, darkest, most remote tributaries of the Amazon basin have been alerted by the media that California is facing a severe drought. California Governor Jerry Brown is working on a solution. The reaction from citizens in the remaining 49 states has been swift. They keep asking the […]
By Jack Edwards You have heard the adage, “Try walking a mile in his shoes.” Recently, I have tried to use this advice to repair a rift that has developed between me and my local bird community. I enjoy birds, but I do not claim to be an expert at Ornithology. You may recall from high school that […]
By Jack Edwards Guys like fast, exciting things. Astute advertisers, even non-astute advertisers, in fact, even advertisers with IQs just below that of the average tube of toothpaste know this. That is why they like to claim, for example, that their product can rocket from zero to 60 miles per hour in under one-tenth of […]
By Jack Edwards “Life is hard, and then you die.” This is today’s inspirational topic. While I tend to be a cockeyed optimist, there is a certain amount of truth to this worn-out statement. Life is filled with difficulties – death, unfair taxes, but worst of all, a little something called “Spring Forward.” This is a hellish […]
By Jack Edwards There is a popular book titled, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. That’s my policy too. I don’t let petty annoyances bother me which might irritate a less erudite man. (As you may recall from Sunday school, the Erudites were a tribe of short, barrel-chested people who were famous for their calm demeanor. […]
By Jack Edwards I’ve been hugging like a maniac lately. In fact, in the last month alone, I’ve have two people threaten to file restraining orders against me for my serial hugging. But the fear of civil litigation is the least of my worries. After all, this is the cold and flu […]
By Jack Edwards I just found out that I’ve been a repeat criminal since the age of 16. However, through luck or happenstance, or more likely, because I have done my best to avoid spending any more time in Georgia than absolutely necessary, I have eluded apprehension. Let me explain. The Associated Press recently reported […]
By Jack Edwards The last time I wrote about “climate change,” which I so primitively referred to as “global warming” (so passé), I failed to anticipate that otherwise peaceful, loving people, many of whom were nurturing mothers whose hands regularly caressed the soft cheeks of their precious newborns, would come after me with steak knives. […]
By Jack Edwards People choose leisure activities for a variety of reasons, including family history (golf), continuing their school sport (swimming), regional popularity (log rolling), and, in certain cases, severe and untreatable mental illness. Let’s take a hard look at that last category. We all love an adrenaline rush. That thrill of excitement. For example, […]