I Was BORN To Shelter In Place

I was BORN to shelter in place.  I dream of sheltering in place.  It’s not 1832.  We’re not huddled in a freezing “Soddy” on the plains of Western Nebraska.  We’ve got Netflix, for crying out loud! While I’m on the topic, here’s my take on the whole “hoarding” thing – According to official verified statistics […]

“Social Distancing” Lesson One: Weaponizing Bad Breath

Nothing says social distancing like murderous breath.  Commit this lifesaving motto to memory: Stinky Breath Today, Keep Coronavirus Away! Bad breath buys you – AT A MINIMUM – a three-foot buffer zone. I’m not sure where the whole six-foot buffer zone came from, but it makes sense.  The average American isn’t six feet tall, so […]

Like many of you, I have now convinced myself I have the Coronavirus

I haven’t been tested, but according to the internet, I have the Coronavirus.  I’m not 100% sure.  How could I be?  I am 99% sure.  Here is how I know – First, I Googled “early Coronavirus symptoms.”  The internet told me the three most common signs were: Cough, Fever and Respiratory Difficulty.  I do not […]