{"id":976,"date":"2017-02-26T06:46:34","date_gmt":"2017-02-26T14:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=976"},"modified":"2017-02-26T06:46:34","modified_gmt":"2017-02-26T14:46:34","slug":"ken-kesey-owes-5-20","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=976","title":{"rendered":"Ken Kesey Owes Me $5.20"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Yesterday, I accidentally ate a hamburger the size of a Greyhound Bus.\u00a0 Only it didn\u2019t go down so smooth.\u00a0 This was all Ken Kesey\u2019s fault.\u00a0 Yeah, I know he\u2019s dead, but that doesn\u2019t make it right.<\/p>\n

I live in Eugene, Oregon, where author and Grateful Dead groupie Ken Kesey is revered.\u00a0 He\u2019s like a white Buddha.\u00a0 In fact, the city dropped a bronze statue of him reading to kids smack down in the middle of town.\u00a0 The \u201cdisenfranchised\u201d use it hang their clothes to dry and\/or display their valuable home-crafted trinkets for sale.\u00a0 Drop by to visit it sometime.\u00a0 Go in a group.\u00a0 Take a can of mace.<\/p>\n

But I digress.<\/p>\n

Kesey wrote a book called, Sometimes a Great Notion<\/em>.\u00a0 It’s supposed to be really good.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t read it, of course, but I saw the movie starring Paul Newman, which was filmed in Oregon.\u00a0 It was really good, and I cried when Paul Newman\u2019s character drowned.\u00a0 Anyway, I\u2019m certain that\u2019s where the tragedy of this hamburger nightmare started.<\/p>\n

The McDonald\u2019s Worldwide Conglomeration of Death (because there\u2019s something seriously wrong with that outfit), recently came up with their own \u201cGreat Notion.\u201d\u00a0 They named it the \u201cGran Mac.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s like the classic Big Mac, only several stories taller, and the diameter of a sewage drain lid.<\/p>\n

The saying goes that it\u2019s not how many times you fall down that matters, it\u2019s how many times you stand back up.\u00a0 Well, I fell down yesterday.\u00a0 I tripped and fell face first into a Gran Mac.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to do it.\u00a0 But this beast was an artery-clogging siren calling me to her rocky shores.\u00a0 Polishing off that monstrosity of a burger (if you can call this aircraft carrier-sized block of carbohydrates and fat a burger) was backbreaking, or I should say, jaw-breaking.\u00a0 My mandibular muscles are still aching.\u00a0 And the carcass of that thing is still rolling around down in my lower intestines.\u00a0 It\u2019s churning away like a muskrat caught in a whitewater river sinkhole.<\/p>\n

The entire experience is my shame.\u00a0 And before you ask, \u201cno,\u201d I haven\u2019t gotten back up yet.<\/p>\n

So, Mr. CEO of McDonald\u2019s Worldwide Conglomeration of Death, I only have one comment for you: \u201cSometimes it\u2019s NOT<\/em><\/strong> a Great Notion.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, I accidentally ate a hamburger the size of a Greyhound Bus.\u00a0 Only it didn\u2019t go down so smooth.\u00a0 This was all Ken Kesey\u2019s fault.\u00a0 Yeah, I know he\u2019s dead, but that doesn\u2019t make it right. I live in Eugene, Oregon, where author and Grateful Dead groupie Ken Kesey is revered.\u00a0 He\u2019s like a white […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[248,599,532,595,596,598,92,597],"class_list":["post-976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-eugene","tag-gran-mac","tag-humor","tag-ken-kesey","tag-kesey","tag-mcdonalds","tag-oregon","tag-sometimes-a-great-notion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=976"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/976\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":984,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/976\/revisions\/984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}