{"id":968,"date":"2017-02-19T09:13:20","date_gmt":"2017-02-19T17:13:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=968"},"modified":"2017-02-19T09:13:21","modified_gmt":"2017-02-19T17:13:21","slug":"secret-hiking-grizzlies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=968","title":{"rendered":"The Secret to Hiking with Grizzlies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Jack Edwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

I take deep pleasure in hiking through the great outdoors.\u00a0 At the mere suggestion from my wife that we go for a hike, usually at gun point, I hop right off the couch.\u00a0 So I guess you can call me an \u201coutdoor enthusiast.\u201d This is why I was riveted by news that the National Park Service is considering restoring grizzlies to the \u201cNorth Cascades Ecosystem.\u201d\u00a0 I read this in an article in the Seattle Times, by Phuong Le, titled, \u201cGrizzly bears in the North Cascades? Feds release plan to restore population.\u201d<\/p>\n

Because I\u2019m working on being a more \u201cpositive thinking\u201d person, I decided to make a list of how this might enhance my life, and the lives of others \u2013 both adults and children (or as grizzlies refer to them, snack-size people).\u00a0 (Sorry!\u00a0 \u201cPositive, Jack, stay positive!\u201d)<\/p>\n

The first thing you have to remember is that while these majestic creatures may seem \u201cscary\u201d or \u201cintimidating,\u201d Le\u2019s article notes that, \u201cgrizzly bears tend to avoid areas of human activity.\u201d\u00a0 So it seems that we are unlikely to see a grizzly slipping into to a Seattle Starbucks for a half-caf vanilla latte after a long hibernation.\u00a0 On the other hand, they enjoy a well-groomed hiking trail as much as the rest of us.\u00a0 My brother-in-law, Tucker, and his wife, Jan, ran into a grizzly years ago while hiking in Montana.\u00a0 They\u2019re still trying to scrub the undies they were wearing that day back to their original white. \u00a0(\u201cOkay, STOP with the negative, Jack!\u201d)<\/p>\n

Here are three benefits of hiking with grizzlies:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Le reports that the grizzlies will \u201cbe radio-collared and monitored.\u201d Talk about a silver lining. This means that whatever particular body part (or if he\u2019s really hungry, \u201cparts\u201d) of your hiking buddy are missing, rangers can quickly locate and recover them.\u00a0 (Presupposing the grizzly is willing to give it back.) \u00a0A funeral director can sew it back on in no time \u2013 probably at no extra charge (who are we kidding, he\u2019s a funeral director.)<\/li>\n
  2. According to Wikipedia, grizzly bears weigh no more than 900 pounds. So if you hike in groups of five to ten people, you\u2019ll match his weight, and have at least a fighting chance. In the alternative, you can walk toward the back of the group, if you get my drift.\u00a0 What\u2019s the old saying? \u201cYou don\u2019t have to outrun a grizzly, you only have to out run your friends.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And,<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. I don\u2019t want to get all religious, or \u201ccontroversial,\u201d but life in heaven is supposed to be significantly<\/em> more enjoyable than life on earth.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      In conclusion, I look forward in great anticipation, to the return of these magnificent creatures to Northwest hiking trails.\u00a0 I want to continue to enjoy the great outdoors, and now that I think about it, I want to help my friends and relatives, my elderly friends and relatives, enjoy the great outdoors with me.\u00a0 #NeverHikeWithoutGrandma<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      By Jack Edwards I take deep pleasure in hiking through the great outdoors.\u00a0 At the mere suggestion from my wife that we go for a hike, usually at gun point, I hop right off the couch.\u00a0 So I guess you can call me an \u201coutdoor enthusiast.\u201d This is why I was riveted by news that […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[590,589,586,588,587,594,592,532,593,591],"class_list":["post-968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-cascades","tag-grizzlies","tag-grizzly","tag-grizzly-bears","tag-grizzy-bear","tag-grizzy-bear-restoration","tag-hiking","tag-humor","tag-national-park-service","tag-seattle-times"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=968"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":975,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968\/revisions\/975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=968"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=968"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=968"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}