{"id":92,"date":"2013-08-22T06:36:41","date_gmt":"2013-08-22T13:36:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=92"},"modified":"2018-07-17T20:17:21","modified_gmt":"2018-07-18T03:17:21","slug":"dont-believe-time-travel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=92","title":{"rendered":"Don’t You Believe in Time Travel?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Welcome<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t believe in time travel, and surprisingly, many people don’t, then you haven\u2019t flown commercially in the last thirty years.\u00a0 The next time you\u2019re standing at the ticket counter schlepping around for your picture ID and trying to convince the agent that your check-in luggage doesn\u2019t contain a tomahawk missile, look carefully.\u00a0 That dinosaur of a computer the ticket agent is hammering away at is actually one of Steve Jobs\u2019 original Apple computers, complete with attractive off-gray plastic shell and cathode ray tube.\u00a0 The agent isn\u2019t typing those bazillion key strokes to find your reservation, she\u2019s killing time waiting for the tube to warm up.\u00a0\u00a0 The airlines rely on this cutting edge<\/i> 1980\u2019s technology in order to achieve the near impossible.\u00a0 That is, of course, to ensure that thousands of times per day without fail at least fifty percent of all flights are massively overbooked. \u00a0\u00a0No easy task.<\/p>\n

Few other industries that rely on a reservation system would dare try to provide this consistent level of service.\u00a0 Imagine if you will the restaurant industry employing this strategy.\u00a0 Say you go to Rigatonie\u2019s Italian for a nice spaghetti dinner and are waiting for your table, then the manager steps up to the little hostess podium.\u00a0 \u201cAttention everyone!\u201d he announces.\u00a0 \u201cUnfortunately, Rigatonie\u2019s has overbooked its tables this evening.\u00a0 We are asking for volunteers willing to reschedule their dinners to another sitting.\u00a0 We have one scheduled five hours from now at 1:00 a.m.\u00a0 Volunteers will receive one complementary non-seafood appetizer.\u00a0 We cannot begin seating until we have sufficient volunteers.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d\u00a0 Who else gets away with this?\u00a0 Nonetheless, God bless \u2018em, the airlines manage to achieve their quota, day after day.<\/p>\n

The journey back in time continues after boarding.\u00a0 Fun fact: Thanks to exceptional cooperation between Boeing and Airbus, the same factory in Hoboken, New Jersey, continues to manufacture the same tried and true seatbelts originally designed for the 1957 Chevy Bel Air.\u00a0 Extra Fun Fact:\u00a0 Boeing even installed these loyal safeguards of the sky<\/i> in every Space Shuttle.\u00a0 Both Boeing and Airbus like to brag that every time a passenger lifts up on one of the seatbelt clips, a union worker in Hoboken earns his wings.<\/p>\n

Time to use the onboard lavatory?\u00a0 The journey continues.\u00a0 It\u2019s a flying toilet museum.\u00a0 I am, of course, referring to the peaceful comfort of being able to place a paper seat protector down on the toilet and turn \u201cinto position\u201d without the fear of hearing an auto-flush engage and seeing your paper shield flash from sight.\u00a0 Note to helpful engineers:\u00a0 Some technology has reached its zenith.\u00a0 Disengage from pioneering further \u201cadvancements.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nothing takes us back in time so much, however, as the state-of-the-art scratchy \u201cplug-in sound\u201d quality.\u00a0 You see, the real joy of having the airline industry lie to us about the danger of low frequency radio waves during flight is that we are able to transport ourselves to a pre-World War II entertainment experience.\u00a0 It\u2019s Jack Benny on the talkie all over again.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the nut.\u00a0 The next time you hear someone mention time travel, don\u2019t mock them and call them a science fiction dweeb.\u00a0 Time travel is alive and well.\u00a0 And, unfortunately, if the airlines get their way, we\u2019ll be enjoying this portal to the past for decades to come.\u00a0 So too our children, and yes, even our children\u2019s children.<\/b><\/p>\n

_______<\/p>\n

WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Earn good karma!\u00a0 Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you don\u2019t believe in time travel, and surprisingly, many people don’t, then you haven\u2019t flown commercially in the last thirty years.\u00a0 The next time you\u2019re standing at the ticket counter schlepping around for your picture ID and trying to convince the agent that your check-in luggage doesn\u2019t contain a tomahawk missile, look carefully.\u00a0 That […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[20,26,21,24,25,18,28,532,29,27,23,22,30],"class_list":["post-92","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-air-travel","tag-airbus","tag-airlines","tag-apple","tag-boeing","tag-funny","tag-hobeken","tag-humor","tag-new-jersey","tag-seatbelts","tag-steve-jobs","tag-time-travel","tag-toilets"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=92"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1390,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions\/1390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=92"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=92"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=92"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}