![\"Hugging\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Hugging.jpg\")
<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\nBy Jack Edwards <\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve been hugging like a maniac lately.\u00a0 In fact, in the last month alone, I\u2019ve have two people threaten to file restraining orders against me for my serial hugging.\u00a0 But the fear of civil litigation is the least of my worries.\u00a0 After all, this is the cold and flu season.\u00a0 What\u2019s a little litigation expense compared to a 105 degree temperature and the dry heaves for four to seven days?<\/p>\n In case you\u2019re wondering, this is all Jill Daly\u2019s fault.\u00a0 She wrote an article for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette explaining that hugging produces a myriad of health benefits.\u00a0 Apparently, hugging can battle heart disease, diabetes, depression and improve one\u2019s immune system.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I need to remind my regular readers that my own research on this topic began and ended with a cursory review of Ms. Daly\u2019s article while I waited for the caffeine in my morning coffee to fully engage, but in my defense, the article seemed quite complete (it was certainly very long).<\/p>\n Ms. Daly\u2019s hugging article discusses, and I am not making this up (Google it if you don\u2019t believe me) work done at an outfit called the \u201cTouch Research Institute\u201d at the University of Miami.\u00a0 Mind you, southern Florida already has all that great weather, and now they\u2019re getting paid to touch each other. \u00a0(I\u2019m not so sure this type of research is completely legal in the other 49 states and the Territory of Guam – I assume, just from general observation, that it is perfectly legal, even encouraged, in the District of Columbia). While I urge to you look up the Touch Research Institute, do not, I repeat, Do Not, Google \u201cHugging Workshops.\u201d\u00a0 First of all, I\u2019m not quite sure how most computer filters work, but if you are going to ignore my advice, I suggest that you crank your filter up to DEFCON 1, before you hit the search key.\u00a0 \u00a0Yes, there are such things as hugging workshops, and if you ever come across someone who has attended one, and you would like to ask him about the experience, Don\u2019t.\u00a0 Run like your life depended on it.\u00a0 Avoid that person like the plague.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little insight from someone who has hit the \u201center\u201d key on this himself:\u00a0 The word \u201ccuddle\u201d will fill your screen.\u00a0 And no, these not necessarily one-on-one cuddles. Yes, it gets pretty gross, pretty quick.<\/p>\n My research into the health benefits of hugging failed to identify whether the nature and quality of the hug plays a significant role.\u00a0 Perhaps the Touch Research Institute could jump on this.\u00a0 For example, does the length of the hug correlate to the level of health benefit?\u00a0 How about how tightly you hug the other person?\u00a0 Is a two arm hug quantitatively better at reducing your stress?\u00a0 I smell a federal research grant percolating as I type.\u00a0 It appears that Jill Daly and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette have plenty more work on their hands.\u00a0 These are important questions about important work that deserves our federal research dollars.\u00a0 In fact, it\u2019s the type of important work that just about any desperate, burned-out congressperson in a tight race and looking to grease a few palms would unquestionably find deserving, and might motivate him to do \u201cthe people\u2019s work\u201d of slapping a two million dollar rider onto a soybean subsidy bill to once and for all get to the bottom of these important, lifesaving questions.\u00a0 I think that every American who values health and home would agree that if this research \u2013 and the federal money driving it \u2013 only saves the life of one single hapless soul (perhaps a small defenseless child – or more likely,\u00a0one of us pudgy couch potatoes) from a stress related disease, such as watching March Madness, then it would be worth it.<\/p>\n In the meantime, I feel my blood sugar rising from that batch of donut holes I just polished off.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to go find someone to hug.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 By Jack Edwards I\u2019ve been hugging like a maniac lately.\u00a0 In fact, in the last month alone, I\u2019ve have two people threaten to file restraining orders against me for my serial hugging.\u00a0 But the fear of civil litigation is the least of my worries.\u00a0 After all, this is the cold and flu […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[18,478,479,532,33],"class_list":["post-641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-funny","tag-hug","tag-hugging","tag-humor","tag-laugh"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=641"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":649,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/641\/revisions\/649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}