{"id":383,"date":"2014-06-19T06:31:59","date_gmt":"2014-06-19T13:31:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=383"},"modified":"2018-05-07T13:42:13","modified_gmt":"2018-05-07T20:42:13","slug":"world-famous-epidemic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=383","title":{"rendered":"World Famous Epidemic"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"World<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

By Jack Edwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

A realization recently struck me harder than a five pound ham to the side of the head.\u00a0\u00a0 A real whopper. Now, I\u2019m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so you may have heretofore already been aware of this problem. An epidemic has spread across our country faster than California Chrome lost the Belmont. However, in the same spirit that John F. Kennedy urged our country to supersede those Russian Commies in space exploration and be the first nation to land a man on Marilyn Monroe, I call on our collective American \u201cknow how\u201d to stop this plague. I am, of course, referring to businesses exclaiming that their clam chowder, or other consumable, is \u201cWorld Famous.\u201d Case in point is a business I will refer to as \u201cMo\u2019s,\u201d because the restaurant is called Mo\u2019s, and because it claims that its clam chowder is \u201cWorld Famous.\u201d Really? Let\u2019s survey a few folks in Grand Rapids about that. Apparently, the distinction is up for grabs. In a perfect world, with the noted exception of Idaho\u2019s World Famous Potatoes, we shouldn\u2019t being seeing many World Famous claims.<\/p>\n

Not far behind the whole \u201cWorld Famous\u201d epidemic, is the abuse of the term \u201cWorld\u2019s Best.\u201d No joke, there is a company called \u201cWorld\u2019s Best Cat Litter.\u201d They even trademarked the name. In New York, there is a food truck named the \u201cWorld\u2019s Best Sandwich Truck,\u201d which, in a sad and ironic twist of fate, has a Yelp rating of 3 \u00bd out of 5 stars. And there appears to be a real knife fight going on over who makes the World\u2019s Best cheese. More specifically, some company called Beecher\u2019s Cheeses claims to sell the \u201cWorld\u2019s Best Mac & Cheese.\u201d Surely the Federal Trade Commission mandates that any company making such a bold claim first engage in a rigorous course of peer-reviewed studies and survey of imperial data. Well, either that, or some guy named Hal hocking cat litter suddenly yells, \u201cEureka! (He\u2019s old school) I\u2019ve got an idea; let\u2019s say it\u2019s the World\u2019s Best! That\u2019ll make\u2019m beat a path to our door! Or litter box\u2026 whatever.\u201d Rumor has it that a company in Lubbock, Texas, is considering giving the \u201cWorld\u2019s Best Cat Litter\u201d company a run for its money using ITS newly trademarked brand: \u201cThe UNIVERSE\u2019S Best Cat Litter!\u201d And, yes, they will feature alien felines in slick Madison Avenue style ads in magazines such as, Cat Leisure, Cats Are My Sole Reason for Living<\/em>, and Cats Are People Too.<\/em> But I digress. Back to my main point.<\/p>\n

Call me crazy, but I think these businesses are going in the wrong direction. When you\u2019re visiting some Podunk city for the first time and see a pizza shop claiming to make the World\u2019s Best pizza, the first thing that pop\u2019s into your head isn\u2019t the anticipation of sinking your teeth into the World\u2019s Best pizza, it\u2019s the sorrow that that it too, like New York\u2019s World\u2019s Best Sandwich Truck, likely claims a full 3 \u00bd stars on Yelp. So, here\u2019s my idea. Now, mind you, I don\u2019t have a degree in Marketing, but my brother-in-law, who I\u2019ll refer to as \u201cTony,\u201d because his name is Tony, does have one. My idea: Instead of being an also ran in the \u201cWorld\u2019s Best\u201d race, do a one-eighty. Yeah, the \u201cWorld\u2019s Worst.\u201d For example, Bob\u2019s Burger Shack, featuring the \u201cWorld\u2019s Worst Fries.\u201d Or, Mary\u2019s Pie Shop, featuring the \u201cWorld\u2019s Worst Crust.\u201d I\u2019m going to run it by Tony the next time I see him.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, I\u2019ll get back to working on my \u201cWorld\u2019s Best, World Famous Jocularious.com Column, featuring the World\u2019s Worst Grammar<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Jack Edwards A realization recently struck me harder than a five pound ham to the side of the head.\u00a0\u00a0 A real whopper. Now, I\u2019m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so you may have heretofore already been aware of this problem. An epidemic has spread across our country faster than California Chrome lost […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[18,532,292,33,19,293,289,294,286,287,290,291,288],"class_list":["post-383","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-idaho-potatoes","tag-laugh","tag-lol","tag-marketing","tag-mos","tag-new-york","tag-world-famous","tag-worlds-best","tag-worlds-best-cat-litter","tag-worlds-best-sandwich-truck","tag-worlds-worst"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=383"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1263,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/383\/revisions\/1263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}