{"id":350,"date":"2014-05-22T06:31:20","date_gmt":"2014-05-22T13:31:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=350"},"modified":"2018-05-08T10:24:25","modified_gmt":"2018-05-08T17:24:25","slug":"national-lampoons-family-vacation-meets-bluebird-cafe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=350","title":{"rendered":"National Lampoon’s Vacation Meets The Bluebird Cafe"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Jack Edwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last summer, my family took a road trip similar to the one the Griswold\u2019s took on National Lampoon\u2019s Vacation. The only major difference was that despite our best efforts, we never managed to actually hoist a dead relative onto the roof of our car. When my older daughter realized that we were going to visit Nashville, she immediately had three heart attacks and a stroke, and demanded that we visit The Bluebird Caf\u00e9. I had never heard of The Bluebird Caf\u00e9, but my daughter, between the series of electroshock jolts the paramedics were applying to bring her back to life exclaimed with much enthusiast enthusiasm that this was where Taylor Swift was discovered. She said it verbally, not using her preferred method of communication – texting, but she still managed to say it in all caps, so it sounded like this: \u201cTHIS IS WHERE TAYLOR SWIFT WAS DISCOVERED!\u201d Followed by a strange and unnatural shriek.<\/p>\n

Understand that I never leave my office let alone my house, so virtually everything pertaining to pop culture is lost on me.<\/p>\n

As my daughter\u2019s sinus rhythm slowly returned to normal, she managed an emphatic grasp, \u201cWe HAVE to go!\u201d<\/p>\n

So, we go.<\/p>\n

The Bluebird Caf\u00e9 has every bit of the elegant curb appeal one would expect of a place called Mom\u2019s Pie Shop. It\u2019s a hole in the wall anchoring the butt end of dingy strip mall. We called ahead and a Bluebird representative told us to show up at least an hour\u00a0early if we wanted to make sure we got a table. Not wanting to take any chances, my daughter suggested we pitch a tent and campout from the night before. We compromised at arriving 90 minutes early. We were second in line. Surprisingly, there were a varied list of activities to help us pass the time. These included popular pastimes such as, standing in line, looking around while standing in line, and my favorite, leaning against the wall while standing in line.\u00a0\u00a0 Every so often, someone who was obviously an important, \u201cconnected\u201d Nashville \u201cinsider\u201d arrived and was ushered immediately through the front door.<\/p>\n

Then the big moment finally arrived. The front door opened and the swell of people waiting outside poured through like a monster tide. We dashed in and stepped up to claim the perfect table in the center of the room – not too close to the stage, not too far away. Perfect. And just then, as the swarm of patrons snatched the tables all around us, a guy who appeared to have some special Bluebird official authority grabbed a \u201cReserved\u201d sign off a nearby table and slapped it down in the middle of \u201cour\u201d table. He gave us a look. The look didn\u2019t say \u201csorry\u201d as much as it said, \u201cthat\u2019s the way it is, folks.\u201d Understand that The Bluebird Caf\u00e9 isn\u2019t a particularly large venue. The entire room is just slightly smaller than the average postage stamp. My gut reaction was to argue with him, while, lucky, my daughter\u2019s reaction was to immediately claim a table that wasn\u2019t too far away. She employed a technique most often used in roller derby, where a woman slams her right shoulder into the solar plexus of her competitor. It was a surprisingly effective move, and after stepping over the victim\u2019s body, I took a seat.<\/p>\n

This is when a guy marched up to the front of the stage and gave us (well, everyone) \u201cthe talk.\u201d It turns out that The Bluebird Caf\u00e9 isn\u2019t really a caf\u00e9, it is a \u201clistening room.\u201d Yeah, you heard me right – it\u2019s a \u201clistening room.\u201d There is a no talking policy during the performances. And it\u2019s strictly enforced. I felt like I was back in Mrs. Grumfielder\u2019s 5th<\/sup> grade class. They made it crystal clear that any talking during the performances would be met with swift, and intentionally aggravated violence. At least that was the impression everyone got, because you could hear a pin drop following the warning, and the music hadn\u2019t even started yet. The only noise was from our chairs rattling from our shaky intimidated legs.<\/p>\n

But all the waiting, fear and intimidation was worth it. The music was excellent. It was a night to remember. I highly recommend it. And if you decide to visit, tell the door man the Griswold family sent you.<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s a Three Minute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

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The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –
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https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Jack Edwards Last summer, my family took a road trip similar to the one the Griswold\u2019s took on National Lampoon\u2019s Vacation. The only major difference was that despite our best efforts, we never managed to actually hoist a dead relative onto the roof of our car. When my older daughter realized that we were […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[45,18,532,33,19,43,276,275,277],"class_list":["post-350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-bluebird-cafe","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-laugh","tag-lol","tag-nashville","tag-national-lampoon","tag-the-bluebird-cafe","tag-vacation"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1268,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions\/1268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}