{"id":3287,"date":"2026-02-08T08:06:20","date_gmt":"2026-02-08T16:06:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3287"},"modified":"2026-02-08T08:06:22","modified_gmt":"2026-02-08T16:06:22","slug":"yes-i-am-now-officially-an-mpg-denier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3287","title":{"rendered":"Yes, I Am Now Officially an MPG Denier!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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By Jack Edwards <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019m selling my Honda Accord because I just bought a Ford F-150 pickup.  You might wonder why someone would buy a pickup when he has a Honda Accord in excellent condition, and it gets over 38 miles per gallon.  Two reasons.  First, an overwhelming urge to spend twice as much on gas.  Second, I needed an inexpensive way to get my old Christmas tree to the dump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

         I\u2019m facing three\nchallenges:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1 \u2013 The Dent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Awhile back, my Accord was innocently sitting downtown, and someone with the driving skills of a raccoon hit my front right corner.\u00a0 Then, because they had all the personal responsibility of a serial killer, they got the H E double toothpicks out of there!\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I took it to a repair shop for an estimate.  They took a few pictures and told me they\u2019d email me an estimate later that day.  After seeing the estimate, I realized why they didn\u2019t tell me on the spot.  They didn\u2019t have anyone on staff certified to do CPR.  The estimate?  One trillion dollars!  Just kidding (but not by much) \u2013 $2,700.  So I went on the internet and bought a suction cup for $17.95.  It said it could pull out dents.  When it arrived, I opened the box with such hope.  Uh\u2026 that turned out to be a \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#2 \u2013 The Miles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I drive a lot for my job.\u00a0 So even though the car is only seven years old, it has over 150,000 miles.\u00a0 But they\u2019re HIGHWAY MILES!\u00a0 And despite my telling people they\u2019re only \u201chighway miles,\u201d they keep looking at me with that blank, unamused expression you find on the average 7-11 clerk. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

#3 \u2013 The Crack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        There is a \u201csmall\u201d crack in the windshield.  I remember when it happened.  I was driving to Seattle on I-5 and a semi-truck I was following threw up a rock.  The good news is that it\u2019s located DIRECTLY in front of the driver\u2019s seat.  I decided to fix it with a repair technique that has worked well for me in the past: Extreme Procrastination.  (So far, so good.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Here is where I need your help:  If you, or someone you know, is looking for a great \u201cpre-dented\u201d car with high miles and a constant reminder not to follow semis too closely, Boy, have I got a deal for you!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

         Wish me luck!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Jack Edwards     I\u2019m selling my Honda Accord because I just bought a Ford F-150 pickup.  You might wonder why someone would buy a pickup when he has a Honda Accord in excellent condition, and it gets over 38 miles per gallon.  Two reasons.  First, an overwhelming urge to spend twice as much on gas.  […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3269,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Dented-Car-.jpeg?fit=2752%2C2064&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3287","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3287"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3287\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3289,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3287\/revisions\/3289"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3287"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3287"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3287"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}