{"id":3245,"date":"2023-07-15T07:25:13","date_gmt":"2023-07-15T14:25:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3245"},"modified":"2023-07-15T07:25:16","modified_gmt":"2023-07-15T14:25:16","slug":"my-first-sailing-lesson-nobody-warned-me-it-would-involve-physics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3245","title":{"rendered":"My First Sailing Lesson: Nobody Warned Me It Would Involve Physics!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The list of items to take to my first sailing lesson concerned me.\u00a0 It included, \u201ca change of clothes,\u201d followed by the comment, \u201cYou will get wet!\u201d\u00a0 Most of the items seemed fine \u2013 \u201csunglasses,\u201d \u201cUS Coast Guard approved lifejacket.\u201d\u00a0 But I was alarmed to see the final item on the list – \u201crosary beads.\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okay, the list DIDN\u2019T include rosary beads, although I gave it\nserious consideration \u2013 and I\u2019m not even Catholic. But the list did include\nthe, \u201cYou will get wet!\u201d warning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had envisioned more of a \u201csip a glass of wine as I slowly\nglide toward the sunset\u201d lesson.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I immediately texted my daughter, Zoe.  She was the one who had signed me up for this\nimpending disaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cZoe, I think this lesson is going to be a little more\nexciting than I planned.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zoe (being an incredibly sensitive and supportive daughter, comforted me by immediately replying): \u201cBuck up, sailor!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We arrived at the Willamette Sailing Club and met our\ninstructor, Walt.  I figured Walt would\ntake us straight to a boat, but instead, he took us to a classroom.  Perfect, I thought.  A wave couldn\u2019t hit me there!  But to my shock and dismay, I was hit with\nsomething far worse \u2013 Physics!  Walt\nexplained that the same principle that causes an airplane\u2019s wing to raise the\nplane off the ground is what causes a sail (which he pointed out was like a\nvertical wing) to propel a boat.  He\nbriefly explained the scientific principle, and I briefly stared blankly into\nspace.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physics lesson safely averted, we headed for the boat.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The boat\u2019s name was Sunshine.  More relief. \nHow could a nice boat named Sunshine kill me?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is when we realized that we were missing something that Walt had repeatedly mentioned during his lecture was a key ingredient for sailing \u2013 Wind!\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walt optimistically announced that once we were on the\nriver, we might find some wind.  He said\nthis as he put a paddle in the boat.  I\nimmediately envisioned my myself desperately paddling toward the distant shore,\nsweat dripping from my forehead.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Low and behold, there was a little wind on the river!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We spent much of the lesson learning how to \u201ctack.\u201d  \u201cTacking\u201d is how you turn the boat in a\ndifferent direction.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tacking is a three-step process:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, the person holding the \u201ctiller\u201d (the long handle connected to the rudder) calls out, \u201cPrepare to tack!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, the crew calls back, \u201cReady!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, the person holding the tiller calls out, \u201ctacking,\u201d\nand pushes the tiller so the boat turns 90 degrees.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s how it\u2019s SUPPOSE to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, I added a few steps \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me, gripping the tiller for dear life: \u201cI forgot what I\u2019m\nsupposed to say!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walt: \u201cPrepare to tack!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me, intently focused on not peeing my pants: \u201cPrepare to\ntack.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two of my crew, my oldest daughter, Zoe, and her husband, Will, called out, \u201cReady!\u201d  My younger daughter, Emma, was apparently asserting her constitutional right to remain silent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me yelling: \u201cTacking,\u201d as I pushed the tiller out too far knocking\nus off course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walt: \u201cNot so far. \nPull it back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cOh,\u201d as I pulled the tiller too far back, over-correcting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may be thinking, \u2018Oh, he\u2019s just describing the very first\ntime he tried to tack.\u2019  You would be\nwrong.  That was pretty much EVERY time I\ntried to tack. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

All-in-all, it was a really fun lesson.\u00a0 My crew never once threatened to mutiny or even made me walk the plank.\u00a0 Best of all, I NEVER GOT WET! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

***THE END***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please like and share this post!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

AND<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone in your life is in college, do them a favor and send them this humorous and VERY helpful handbook – Seven Rules for the College Playground. Simply click the link below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/rb.gy\/xf2og<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The list of items to take to my first sailing lesson concerned me.\u00a0 It included, \u201ca change of clothes,\u201d followed by the comment, \u201cYou will get wet!\u201d\u00a0 Most of the items seemed fine \u2013 \u201csunglasses,\u201d \u201cUS Coast Guard approved lifejacket.\u201d\u00a0 But I was alarmed to see the final item on the list – \u201crosary beads.\u201d\u00a0 […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3246,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[1097,1095,1096],"class_list":["post-3245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-first-sailing-lesson-humor","tag-sailing-humor","tag-sailing-lesson-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Sailing-Lesson-.jpeg?fit=1144%2C959&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3245"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3264,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3245\/revisions\/3264"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}