{"id":3192,"date":"2023-06-22T12:58:07","date_gmt":"2023-06-22T19:58:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3192"},"modified":"2023-06-22T12:58:10","modified_gmt":"2023-06-22T19:58:10","slug":"nothing-says-no-smoking-like-a-conveniently-located-ashtray","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3192","title":{"rendered":"Nothing Says “No Smoking” Like a Conveniently Located Ashtray"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of enjoying a short 14-hour\nflight from Tel Aviv to San Francisco.  And,\nI don\u2019t want to brag, but I was flying coach. \nI would have measured my leg room, but I forgot my micrometer.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fourteen hours is plenty of time to sit and ponder.\u00a0 It\u2019s also time to take full advantage of all the complimentary amenities offered in coach \u2013 free water, a free reading light, and of course, a free toilet.\u00a0 (At least for now.\u00a0 Don\u2019t think those shysters running the airlines aren\u2019t plotting a way to install pay toilets.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, First-Class passengers get to travel in their hoity-toity\nindividual cubicles they refer to as \u201cpods.\u201d \nThey lean back, scratch their big bellies and sip flutes of champagne as\nthey glide joyfully from time zone to time zone.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I too fly in a private pod.\u00a0 Only my pod is called \u201cthe toilet.\u201d\u00a0 And, at least 50% of the time, there’s no champagne. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, there I was, somewhere between Belarus and Belgium,\nenjoying the peace and tranquility of my pod, when I noticed something disturbingly\naskew.  On the toilet door in front of me\nwas a No Smoking sign, and directly below it was\u2026 you guessed it!  An ashtray! \nHere it is, I opened it up to make sure I wasn\u2019t seeing things \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t smoke, but just looking at that stylish little ashtray made me want to fire up a Marlboro.\u00a0 It was so conveniently placed that I could light up and tip my ashes without so much as shifting my sizeable posterior an inch.\u00a0 The average smoker must spot these little ashtrays quicker than a toad spots a fly.\u00a0 It\u2019s got to drive them crazy.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably the reason for the epidemic of passenger melees.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The flight attendants need to change their preflight announcement\nfrom, \u201cIt is against federal law to disable, tamper with or destroy lavatory\nsmoke detectors,\u201d to, \u201cIt is against federal law to disable, tamper with or\ndestroy lavatory smoke detectors, and never mind the siren\u2019s song of those conveniently\nbuilt-in ashtrays installed specifically to drive you insane.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enjoying that little oddity consumed a whole 13 minutes of\nmy 14-hour ordeal.  This left me 13 hours\nand 47 minutes to recline in my assigned seat, stretch out in the 4\u00bd inches of\nleg room, and of course, enjoy that UNLIMITED supply of complimentary water.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of enjoying a short 14-hour flight from Tel Aviv to San Francisco.  And, I don\u2019t want to brag, but I was flying coach.  I would have measured my leg room, but I forgot my micrometer.  Fourteen hours is plenty of time to sit and ponder.\u00a0 It\u2019s also time […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3193,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[1087],"class_list":["post-3192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-no-smoking-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Airplane-No-Smoking.jpg?fit=895%2C751&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3192"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3192\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3211,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3192\/revisions\/3211"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3193"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}