{"id":3148,"date":"2022-12-26T05:25:41","date_gmt":"2022-12-26T13:25:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3148"},"modified":"2023-06-18T17:32:56","modified_gmt":"2023-06-19T00:32:56","slug":"dont-let-a-silent-h-sneak-up-and-bite-you-in-the-tuchus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=3148","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Let a Silent “H” Sneak Up and Bite You in the Tuchus"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This story is absolutely true.  If you don\u2019t believe me, I can produce a hundred\nwitnesses to confirm its accuracy.  Okay,\nI can produce ONE.  But it\u2019s my wife, and\nunlike me, she\u2019s not an irredeemable liar. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DANGER:<\/strong> This story is a full-blown PG-13, so anyone with even a mild sensitivity to crude humor should cease and desist reading this PRONTO!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here it goes \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife was on a guided bus tour of Seoul.  As it proceeded, a tour guide stood at the\nfront of the bus and explained points of interest.  The guide was a native Korean, and her\nEnglish was quite good.  Except for the tragic\nfact that she had not mastered when an \u201ch\u201d in an English word is silent.  Who could blame her?  The English language was obviously invented\nby psychopaths.  It\u2019s a complete disaster.  We\u2019ve got \u201crhyme,\u201d \u201cghost,\u201d \u201cright,\u201d and then,\nof course, we\u2019ve got \u201cwhy, when and where!\u201d \nGod help anyone trying to learn it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, the Korean language doesn\u2019t contain\nan \u201cx.\u201d  It takes tremendous effort to\nlearn this little \u201cx\u201d sound, and many Koreans never master it.  Their \u201cx\u201d sounds like an \u201cs.\u201d   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\u2026 here\u2019s where the nitro met the glycerin \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a statute in Seoul called \u201cThe Phoenix.\u201d  Here is it \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As the bus continued on its way, the young female tour guide\nswept her hands over her head repeatedly, each time announcing with great\nfanfare that they would soon see the \u201cRising of the Phoenix.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only, to everyone on the bus, it didn\u2019t sound like, \u201cThe\nRising of the Phoenix.\u201d  It sounded\nexactly like the \u201cRising of the [Popular male body part that begins with a P.]\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She announced this several times \u2013 each time swinging her arms skyward in a glorious arc.\u00a0 Finally, someone approached her apprehensively and whispered in her ear.\u00a0 In a millisecond, her joyous expression melted faster than butter on a hot pan.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s my point \u2013 If you\u2019re going to learn another language,\nit is critical to the preservation of your dignity to focus on the nuance of\neach native sound.  If not, you\u2019ll end up\nsaying \u201cfocus,\u201d but they\u2019ll hear, \u201cfuk-us.\u201d \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At that point, your listener is really going to expect, \u201cThe\nRising of the Phoenix.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This story is absolutely true.  If you don\u2019t believe me, I can produce a hundred witnesses to confirm its accuracy.  Okay, I can produce ONE.  But it\u2019s my wife, and unlike me, she\u2019s not an irredeemable liar.  DANGER: This story is a full-blown PG-13, so anyone with even a mild sensitivity to crude humor should […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[1082,1080,1081],"class_list":["post-3148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-foriegn-language-humor","tag-language-humor","tag-pronunciation-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Final-Palace-.jpeg?fit=2295%2C1923&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3148"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3157,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148\/revisions\/3157"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}