{"id":301,"date":"2014-04-10T06:54:07","date_gmt":"2014-04-10T13:54:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=301"},"modified":"2018-05-08T16:09:12","modified_gmt":"2018-05-08T23:09:12","slug":"cheapskate-travel-tips-la-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=301","title":{"rendered":"Secret Travel Tips for Cheapskates: LA Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Final<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

Every city has a major landmark.\u00a0 St. Louis has a giant Arch.\u00a0 San Francisco has the Golden Gate Bridge.\u00a0 And Los Angles has the Smog.\u00a0 The special thing about LA\u2019s landmark is that it cannot only be seen but experienced.\u00a0 This experience alone is reason to visit the City of Angels.<\/p>\n

And Los Angles is the smorgasbord of family friendly experiences.\u00a0 It\u2019s home to Disneyland, Paramount Studios, and, of course, Knott\u2019s Berry Farm.\u00a0 All offer the same prepackaged antiseptic fun that Americans seek for their annual National Lampoon Vacations.\u00a0 Unfortunately, these experiences also share one unpleasant quality.\u00a0 They each charge actual money <\/i>to gain admission.\u00a0 That is unless your family is stealthful and can scamper beneath the back gate, which my wife has of late been refusing to do.\u00a0 What do you get for an entrance fee just slightly more expensive than the down payment on a three bedroom suburban home?\u00a0 You get the privilege of slapping down five bucks for a small soft drink, the one without<\/i> the souvenir cup.\u00a0 That and the pleasure of loitering in a line for two hours waiting to plunge to your death.\u00a0 The sunburn is still complimentary at all of these amusement parks\u2026 for the time being.<\/p>\n

So, here is my LA travel tip.\u00a0 It\u2019s called going to Rodeo Drive and walking around pretending you\u2019re rich.\u00a0 It\u2019s LA\u2019s best kept secret.\u00a0 Drive over and check it out.\u00a0 It\u2019ll remind you of the primate exhibit at the National Zoo, only the animals are wearing \u201cskinny jeans\u201d.\u00a0 Special travel note: Even some of the sale\u2019s clerks on Rodeo Drive pretend they\u2019re rich.\u00a0 Stop into a few shops, and you\u2019ll see what I mean (but please, suppress your grin; it\u2019s all they\u2019ve got – don\u2019t take it away from them).<\/p>\n

Rodeo Drive Amusement Park\u2019s Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Do<\/i><\/b> park your moss green Ford Focus rental a block or two away.\u00a0 Remember, you come from old <\/i>money.<\/i><\/li>\n
  2. Do<\/i><\/b> tell your kids to keep their fingers out of their noses (and other orifices) while trying to look rich.\u00a0 Rich kids also stick their fingers in their noses, but they do so with a richness and flair middleclass children cannot master during a short visit to the land of the rich.<\/li>\n
  3. Don\u2019t<\/i><\/b> buy any artwork.\u00a0 Yes, that life-size bronze Stallion rearing back majestically looks magnificent in the art gallery with a thirty foot ceiling, but it isn\u2019t going to fare so well in your family room next to the bumper-pool table.\u00a0 And the money is probably better off staying in your kid\u2019s college fund anyway.<\/li>\n
  4. Do<\/i><\/b>, toward the end of your stroll along Rodeo, when you\u2019ve grown tired of pretending you\u2019re rich, put on a pair of really cheesy sunglasses and start asking anyone within arm\u2019s reach where a guy from Akron can find a \u201cclassy\u201d (pronounced \u2018claaaas-ee\u2019) t-shirt that says Hollywood on it.\u00a0 Tell\u2019em you\u2019re willing to spend whatever it takes, and volunteer that you\u2019ve got a ten dollar bill burning a hole in your pocket.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Staying with the Rodeo Drive theme, next week\u2019s travel tip will be how to get the most out of your family\u2019s visit to the primate exhibit at the National Zoo.\u00a0 Sneak preview:\u00a0 It involves cheesy sunglasses and skinny jeans.<\/p>\n

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    ______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Check out these great books for gifts:<\/p>\n

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    Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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    Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

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     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Every city has a major landmark.\u00a0 St. Louis has a giant Arch.\u00a0 San Francisco has the Golden Gate Bridge.\u00a0 And Los Angles has the Smog.\u00a0 The special thing about LA\u2019s landmark is that it cannot only be seen but experienced.\u00a0 This experience alone is reason to visit the City of Angels. And Los Angles is […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[69,250,255,532,257,220,251,70,258,253],"class_list":["post-301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-beverly-hills","tag-disneyland","tag-golden-gate-bridge","tag-humor","tag-national-lampoon-vacation","tag-national-zoo","tag-paramount-studios","tag-rodeo-drive","tag-skinny-jeans","tag-st-louis-arch"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1276,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions\/1276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}