{"id":2951,"date":"2022-04-01T18:25:47","date_gmt":"2022-04-02T01:25:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2951"},"modified":"2022-04-01T18:30:09","modified_gmt":"2022-04-02T01:30:09","slug":"ive-decided-to-start-using-the-word-adroit-to-make-people-think-im-smarter-than-i-am","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2951","title":{"rendered":"I’ve Decided To Start Using The Word “Adroit” To Make People Think I’m Smarter Than I Am"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I just watched Shark Tank, and someone used the word \u201cadroit.\u201d  The word caught my attention.  I immediately stopped trying to confabulate some contraption to appear on Shark Tank and make my fortune.  I thought to myself, \u2018I need to start using that word.  It\u2019ll make me sound smart.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, that\u2019s\nmy new plan.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, I had\nto do some research, and by \u201cresearch,\u201d I mean, I had to find out what the word\nmeant.  I was surprised to discover that\nthat word has nothing to do with droits. \n(Which is, believe it or not, a REAL word!  I immediately ruled out ever using the word,\n\u201cdroit,\u201d because I didn\u2019t think using it would make me sound smart.  A \u201cdroit\u201d sounds like a creature that lives\nunder a bridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\ndigress.  Back to adroit.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It turns out\nthat the word \u201cadroit\u201d has French origins. \nIt\u2019s actually the French word for bunion, as in, \u201cI need to see the\npodiatrist about removing this enormous adroit.\u201d  Just kidding!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked\nGoogle to tell me what it meant, and it said: skillful, nimble, clever.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to shock anyone, but Alsea Elementary School never got around to adroit.  Our teachers were all too busy threatening us with extreme bodily harm.  That or I missed that day.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m now in the planning stage of using my fancy new word. Here\u2019s what I have chambered so far:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On my next visit to the podiatrist, I’m going to casually say, \u201cDoctor,\u201d (Yeah, I know he\u2019s not a real doctor, but he likes it when I call him that), “Doctor,” I’ll say, \u201cI’m hoping you can use your adroit skills to remove this bunion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If things go smoothly, I\u2019ll move on from there, maybe to my optometrist, and then on to real doctors.  If things DON\u2019T go well, I know one thing \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll feel like a complete droid. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just watched Shark Tank, and someone used the word \u201cadroit.\u201d  The word caught my attention.  I immediately stopped trying to confabulate some contraption to appear on Shark Tank and make my fortune.  I thought to myself, \u2018I need to start using that word.  It\u2019ll make me sound smart.\u2019 So, that\u2019s my new plan.  First, […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2961,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[1057,1058],"class_list":["post-2951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-adroitly-humor","tag-vocabulary-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Adroit-Image.jpg?fit=750%2C369&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2951","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2951"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2951\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2969,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2951\/revisions\/2969"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2961"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}