{"id":2896,"date":"2022-01-02T11:53:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-02T19:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2896"},"modified":"2022-01-02T11:53:02","modified_gmt":"2022-01-02T19:53:02","slug":"how-to-get-your-husband-to-buy-you-a-new-wedding-ring-without-really-trying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2896","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Your Husband to Buy You a New Wedding Ring Without Really Trying"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I lost my wedding ring.\u00a0 When I confessed this to my wife, I was surprised to learn that she wasn\u2019t upset.\u00a0 She took it calmly. She simply set down her phone, looked at me with her gentle, loving eyes, and yelled, “What?” at the top of her lungs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had developed\nthe habit of slipping my ring off my finger and fiddling with it.  Whenever my wife saw me do this, she would scold\nme.  \u201cYou\u2019re going to lose it,\u201d she\nwarned.  \u201cNo, I\u2019m not,\u201d I replied each\ntime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully, my beautiful, loving, wonderful wife, isn\u2019t an \u201cI told you so\u201d person.\u00a0 She’s an \u201cI told you so,\u201d (pause) \u201cI told you so\u201d person.\u00a0 This posed a small problem for me in that she had indeed \u201ctold me so,\u201d many, MANY times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll find\nit,\u201d I replied with as much confidence as I could muster given the fact that I had\nalready search everywhere.  TWICE.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife and I then searched frantically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thereafter, every so often, my wife would ask me if I had given up looking for my ring.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m still looking,\u201d I would reply without taking my eyes off the latest episode of Gold Rush.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was having\njust as much luck finding my ring from the living room couch as OJ was having\nfinding the \u201creal killer\u201d from the golf course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then came\nthe BIG DAY.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife announced that she had found me a new wedding ring, and she wanted me to go see it. \u00a0She drove.\u00a0 When we pulled up to the most expensive jewelry store in Eugene, it took every ounce of my strength to keep from peeing myself.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We entered, and the salesman greeted my wife like an old friend.\u00a0 (This should have been my first clue.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou brought\nyour husband to see the ring!\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He directed us to a display case and pulled a ring from the case below.\u00a0 It was a gold band with etchings of waves circling it.\u00a0 I had always told my wife that real men wore plain gold bands (as was the one I lost).\u00a0 Unfortunately, my delicate predicament didn\u2019t leave me much room to begin making demands.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI like it,\u201d I announced firmly, much to my wife\u2019s smiling satisfaction.\u00a0 Meanwhile, the salesman stood wearing a smile brighter than the grill of a \u201957 Buick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The salesman’s next statement struck me with the subtly of a 2\u201dx4\u201d whack to the cranium.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould you like\nto see your matching ring?\u201d he asked my wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He reached down\nand pulled out a second ring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second\nring was identical<\/em> to my ring with one minor exception:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was\nencrusted with DIAMONDS!  Beautiful, sparking,\nEXPENSIVE diamonds!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first inclination\nwas to cry out, \u201cHey, that\u2019s not a matching ring!\u201d  But miraculously, I was able to catch myself\nand withhold my (very correct) objection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s beautiful,\u201d\nI choked out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naturally, I found my original ring within the month.\u00a0 It had fallen into a small pocket on one of my coats.\u00a0 My first thought was, ‘Hey, maybe we can take the rings back.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I decided to keep that little suggestion to myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I lost my wedding ring.\u00a0 When I confessed this to my wife, I was surprised to learn that she wasn\u2019t upset.\u00a0 She took it calmly. She simply set down her phone, looked at me with her gentle, loving eyes, and yelled, “What?” at the top of her lungs. I had developed the habit of slipping […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2897,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[1052,1053],"class_list":["post-2896","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-wedding-humor","tag-wedding-ring-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Diamond.jpeg?fit=954%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2896","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2896"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2896\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2916,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2896\/revisions\/2916"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2897"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2896"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2896"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2896"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}