{"id":2879,"date":"2021-10-30T18:07:09","date_gmt":"2021-10-31T01:07:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2879"},"modified":"2021-10-30T18:07:13","modified_gmt":"2021-10-31T01:07:13","slug":"the-real-problem-with-ordering-people-magazine-is-that-they-start-sending-you-people-magazine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2879","title":{"rendered":"The REAL problem with ordering People magazine is that they start SENDING you People magazine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Every once\nin a while, I make the tragic mistake of subscribing to People magazine.  It isn\u2019t that I WANT People magazine, it is that\nPeople magazine skillfully uses a sophisticated entrapment technique to coerce\nme into subscribing.  It happens at my\nwork.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It goes like this.\u00a0 They send you a color flyer depicting a cover of People magazine with the sales pitch, \u201c54 Weeks of People, Just $47!\u201d\u00a0 That catches your eye, and when you look closer, it says a two-year subscription is just $95. \u00a0And, get this, a three-year subscription is only $134!\u00a0 And if you subscribe for five years, they actually pay YOU money to take it!\u00a0 Okay, I’m just kidding. They don’t pay you money. They just give it to you for free. Just kidding, again!\u00a0 The deal ends at three years.\u00a0 But still, that\u2019s about 85 cents an issue.\u00a0 In a world where a cup of coffee is four bucks, that\u2019s an amazing deal.\u00a0 And I\u2019m from Alsea, so you can imagine my internal struggle.\u00a0 My cheapskate id starts wrasslin\u2019 with my just-spotted-a-bargain id.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The REAL problem with ordering People magazine is that they start sending you People magazine.\u00a0 EVERY week.\u00a0 Week after week, month after month.\u00a0 It NEVER ends.\u00a0 It\u2019s relentless.\u00a0 Issues start piling up.\u00a0 Stacks of People magazines begin growing throughout the lobby.\u00a0 The stacks sprout everywhere.\u00a0 Pretty soon your office lobby is like a corn maze.\u00a0 You find yourself trying to navigate through the unsteady stacks looking for the front door while desperately trying to avoid becoming the embarrassing victim of a People magazine avalanche.\u00a0 (A tragedy People magazine would gleefully publish on it’s cover!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019m trying to say is that when you are walking through the airport, and you see a copy of People magazine for sale at its standard cover price of $200 (or whatever its insane \u201ccover price\u201d), BUY IT.\u00a0 Buy that ONE copy.\u00a0 Covet it.\u00a0 Alone.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t need any brother or sister issues.\u00a0 It\u2019s fine being an only child.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I implore you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re itching to do something crazy, go bungee jumping, or maybe skydiving.\u00a0 Heck, sign up for a naked bull riding contest.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t ever, and I mean EVER, lose your mind and subscribe to People magazine. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every once in a while, I make the tragic mistake of subscribing to People magazine.  It isn\u2019t that I WANT People magazine, it is that People magazine skillfully uses a sophisticated entrapment technique to coerce me into subscribing.  It happens at my work.  It goes like this.\u00a0 They send you a color flyer depicting a […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2880,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[1051,1050,1049],"class_list":["post-2879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-magazine-humor","tag-people-humor","tag-people-magazine-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/People-Magazine.jpeg?fit=1784%2C1338&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2879"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2895,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2879\/revisions\/2895"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2880"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}