{"id":2753,"date":"2021-08-27T16:02:03","date_gmt":"2021-08-27T23:02:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2753"},"modified":"2021-08-27T16:02:07","modified_gmt":"2021-08-27T23:02:07","slug":"who-are-these-people-with-no-shirt-and-no-shoes-who-get-no-service","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2753","title":{"rendered":"Who Are These People With No Shirt and No Shoes Who Get No Service?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I see the signs: \u201cNo Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!\u201d\u00a0 But I\u2019ve never seen \u201cthem.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen all the shirtless guys who are not wearing shoes yet are clamoring for service.\u00a0 They must duck for cover whenever I approach.\u00a0 But they can\u2019t be too shy.\u00a0 Apparently, they\u2019re brazen enough to go waltzing into stores barefooted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s\nperplexing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is it just\nan \u201cambience\u201d thing?  Are high-end restaurants\nunder siege from shirtless, shoeless people demanding steak tartare?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do strip\nclubs ever put these signs up?  That would\nseem a little hypocritical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a\nbar two doors down from my office in downtown Eugene with one of these signs,\nbut they\u2019ve put a twist on it \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

In their defense, we do have a fair number of \u201cdisenfranchised\u201d folks hanging around on that corner.\u00a0 It might just be me, but when I hear someone use the term, \u201cno dice,\u201d I picture a seventies guy with a wide-open polyester shirt and enough exposed chest hair to choke a house cat.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pizza\nplace down the street decided to put their own spin on it.  Here\u2019s the sign in Sizzle Pie\u2019s window \u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been in\nSizzle Pie.  I\u2019ve seen their customer\nbase.  Heck, I AM their customer\nbase.  Trust me on this Mr. Sizzle Pie\nmanager, people without shirts are the least of your problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I recently conducted a survey of downtown Eugene businesses (this is code for: I got bored and took a stroll).\u00a0 At a bare minimum, 95% of businesses (as calculated by their lack of No Shirt \/ No shoes signs, welcome customers without shirts or shoes.\u00a0 Some appeared to actually encourage it, like a body waxing place a couple of blocks away.\u00a0 (The whole process is FAR more efficient if the customer arrives without a shirt.)\u00a0 They should have a sign that says, \u201cShirt? Shoes? No Service.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This makes me wonder whether, in a jail somewhere, some old, grizzled convict has ever turned to the inmate next to him and asked, “What are you in for?” And the guy answered, \u201cNo shirt, no shoes, but sadly, asked for service.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I see the signs: \u201cNo Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!\u201d\u00a0 But I\u2019ve never seen \u201cthem.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen all the shirtless guys who are not wearing shoes yet are clamoring for service.\u00a0 They must duck for cover whenever I approach.\u00a0 But they can\u2019t be too shy.\u00a0 Apparently, they\u2019re brazen enough to go waltzing into stores […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2755,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[1033,1035,1034],"class_list":["post-2753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-no-shirt-humor","tag-no-shirt-no-shoes-humor","tag-no-shoes-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/No-Shirt-No-Shoes.jpeg?fit=805%2C675&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2753"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2769,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2753\/revisions\/2769"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}