{"id":272,"date":"2014-03-06T06:44:03","date_gmt":"2014-03-06T14:44:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=272"},"modified":"2018-05-08T20:26:00","modified_gmt":"2018-05-09T03:26:00","slug":"whole-foods-market-answer-xanax","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=272","title":{"rendered":"Whole Foods Market Answer to Xanax"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Whole<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

Life can be stressful.\u00a0 Thankfully, there are a number of healthful ways to combat this stress, like exercise, eating well, and taking a daily regimen of psychotropic medications.\u00a0 (FDA approved, of course.)\u00a0 If we can be certain of anything, we can be certain that the health of the nation is the number one priority of the pharmaceutical industry.\u00a0 Gotta love those guys.\u00a0 But as much as I admire the ethics and trust \u201cBig Pharma,\u201d as I affectionately refer to them, I recently stumbled across an alternative.\u00a0 It may not be for everyone, and it may not even be less expensive, but in the spirit of providing YOU, my faithful readers with OPTIONS, I will now share my recent discovery.<\/p>\n

There are a plethora of self-help programs out there,\u00a0like the one that giant Tony Robbins is always rambling on about.\u00a0 Everywhere you look people are advertising themselves as \u201clife coaches.\u201d\u00a0 My discovery, however, has nothing to do with \u201clife coaches.\u201d\u00a0 (Side note: \u201cLife coach\u201d is code for: I\u2019m lost and confused, but maybe by helping you screw up your life and charging you an outrageous fee, I can finally find myself).\u00a0 My alternative does not involve fancy programs or life coaches.\u00a0 My alternative is spending quality time in Whole Foods Markets.\u00a0 Not buying their produce.\u00a0 Not eating at their deli.\u00a0 Just walking around inside them.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure if eating organic, sustainable food is any better for you, but I do know that the simple act of walking into a Whole Foods Market makes you feel better about yourself.\u00a0 Not just as good as everybody else, it makes you feel better \u2013 better than everyone who is not shopping at Whole Foods (i.e. the so-called general population).\u00a0 As you enter carrying your reusable shopping bag, suddenly your posture gets a little better.\u00a0 You perk up.\u00a0 You feel alive and engaged.\u00a0 Try it.\u00a0 But first, as before engaging in any new activity, you need to stop and take time to learn, understand and appreciate the nomenclature:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Organic.\u00a0 In the Latin, this translates to, \u201cWow, this apple has a worm hole in it the size of the Lincoln Tunnel.\u201d<\/li>\n
  2. Sustainable.\u00a0 In the original Greek (not the modernized version), this translates roughly to: \u201cBrace yourself, this asparagus costs four times the price as normal.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And finally,<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Locally sourced.\u00a0 This is a relatively new term in the American lexicon, and means, \u201cIf the cheese maker down the street needs a root canal, guess whose fettuccini alfredo just skyrocketed?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      But never mind all that.\u00a0 Who can put a price on good mental health?\u00a0 There is just something about eating a chicken raised in a petting zoo that makes you feel better about yourself.<\/p>\n

      So there you have it.\u00a0 The Whole Foods Market alternative to Xanax.\u00a0 Of course, you don\u2019t have to use the Name Brand.\u00a0 You can go with the generic:\u00a0 Trader Joe\u2019s, Nature\u2019s Market, or Tom\u2019s Corner Organic Healthy Stuff Market.\u00a0 Consumer activists say they are just as effective.\u00a0 They have the same active ingredient<\/i>.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s what they say\u2026.\u00a0 Or, to be on the safe side, you can just go to Whole Foods.<\/p>\n

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      ______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Check out these great books for gifts:<\/p>\n

      The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

      Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

      Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Life can be stressful.\u00a0 Thankfully, there are a number of healthful ways to combat this stress, like exercise, eating well, and taking a daily regimen of psychotropic medications.\u00a0 (FDA approved, of course.)\u00a0 If we can be certain of anything, we can be certain that the health of the nation is the number one priority of […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[214,218,34,213,216,217,215,211,212],"class_list":["post-272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-life-coach","tag-locally-sourced","tag-medicine","tag-mental-health","tag-organic","tag-sustainable","tag-trader-joes","tag-whole-foods","tag-xanax"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=272"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1281,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions\/1281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}