{"id":2481,"date":"2020-11-08T15:18:34","date_gmt":"2020-11-08T23:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2481"},"modified":"2020-11-08T15:28:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-08T23:28:04","slug":"are-you-sure-were-following-the-science-because-it-looks-a-lot-like-were-following-the-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2481","title":{"rendered":"Are You Sure We’re Following the Science? Because It Looks Like We’re Following the Money"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

If I may\nspeak seriously for a moment, I need to make one thing clear.  I stand on principle, and there is one\nprinciple on which I will not compromise. \nHere it is:  Even if it only saves\none<\/em> life, implementing every safeguard to prevent the spread of Covid-19\nis critical during this pivotal moment in our nation\u2019s history, even if it\nmeans we must endure skyrocketing teenage suicide rates and ignoring those so-called\n\u201cnecessary\u201d cancer screenings.  In short,\n\u201cwe must<\/em> follow the science,\u201d even if it kills us.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Walmart hasn\u2019t\nremained open because it\u2019s a multibillion-dollar powerhouse.  It\u2019s simply safer to wait in line at Walmart\nthan other stores.  (And much, much<\/em>\nsafer than election lines.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

States haven\u2019t\nallowed liquor stores to remain open because they rake in zillions in tax revenue.  It\u2019s SAFER to wait in line at liquor stores.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Airlines haven\u2019t\ncontinued to pack travelers into airtight tubes for hours on end because of\ntheir political clout.  (You wacky\nconspiracy theorist!)  Study after study\nhas proven that sitting for five hours shoulder to shoulder with smelly strangers\nis perfectly safe.  Remember, these airlines\nare \u201cfollowing the science.\u201d  So, feel\nfree to take a flight.  Climb aboard, sit\nback, take a deep<\/em> breath and relax. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

None of\nthese activities is, for example, the insanity of visiting a hair salon.  Or something totally bonkers, like attending\na funeral.  And don\u2019t get me started about\nall those maniacs who want to go to church! \nThese raving lunatics will kill us all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, that\u2019s my take on it.  On the other hand, I might just be a better person than you.  In fact, if you don\u2019t feel the same way, maybe it\u2019s time for you to take a good long look in the mirror.  But please, for the sake of all that is true and pure, when you take that look in the mirror, PLEASE remember to follow the science and wear a mask.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I may speak seriously for a moment, I need to make one thing clear.  I stand on principle, and there is one principle on which I will not compromise.  Here it is:  Even if it only saves one life, implementing every safeguard to prevent the spread of Covid-19 is critical during this pivotal moment […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[897,914,983,984],"class_list":["post-2481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-coronavirus-humor","tag-covid-19-humor","tag-follow-the-science-humor","tag-following-the-science-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2481"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2493,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2481\/revisions\/2493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}