{"id":247,"date":"2014-01-16T06:49:16","date_gmt":"2014-01-16T14:49:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=247"},"modified":"2018-05-08T20:36:24","modified_gmt":"2018-05-09T03:36:24","slug":"oo-rah-lets-hear-united-states-marines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=247","title":{"rendered":"Oo-rah! Let’s Hear It for the United States Marines!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Oorah<\/a><\/p>\n

Muscle memory is an amazing phenomenon.\u00a0 However, they say that by the time a man reaches middle age, while he still has the memory, he no longer has the muscle.\u00a0 This can lead to embarrassing situations, usually involving ladders.\u00a0 For example, finding himself dangling from the edge of a gutter screaming like a girl.\u00a0 Of course, this doesn\u2019t apply to all middle-aged men, for example, it doesn\u2019t apply to me. (Hey, the gutter thing could have happened to anyone!) \u00a0And I asked my brother-in-law, Steve, and he told me it doesn\u2019t apply to him either.<\/p>\n

I point this out because my niece, Elise, recently completed United States Marine Corp training at Parris Island, South Carolina.\u00a0 From what I can decipher, the training goes like this.\u00a0 They take a bunch of recruits and then spend 13 weeks trying to kill them.\u00a0 It culminates with a little excursion they call The Crucible (Ouch!\u00a0 Just the name hurts).\u00a0 After all of this, they take the recruits they didn\u2019t manage to completely kill, and they make them Marines.\u00a0 And they get to yell, \u201cOo-rah\u201d a lot.<\/p>\n

After considerable soul searching and deep consideration, I have decided to enlist in the United States Marine Corp.\u00a0 I<\/i> want to yell \u201cOorah,\u201d and of course, look down on the other less Marine-ish branches of the service.\u00a0 Only one thing, I am<\/i> asking them to make a few<\/i> adjustments.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they\u2019re reasonable people and will meet me half way.<\/p>\n

Modification #1.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been particularly active over last few years (well, thirty).\u00a0 And it is my understanding that boot camp requires pushups.\u00a0 Perhaps I could be allowed to do modified pushups.\u00a0 You know, the ones where you can leave your knees on the ground?\u00a0 (No, these are not called \u201cgirl pushups.\u201d\u00a0 Stop being a sexist pig!)<\/p>\n

Modification #2.\u00a0 I can\u2019t think of anywhere I\u2019d need better sleep than during boot camp.\u00a0 But I understand that everyone sleeps in the same room?\u00a0 The barracks?\u00a0 You see, that\u2019s no good for me.\u00a0 I\u2019m a light sleeper, and I think the snoring that unquestionably goes on would pose a problem.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it would benefit me or the Marines if I hit the obstacle course groggy.\u00a0 Also, it tends to make me grumpy in the morning.\u00a0 So I\u2019d like to stay at a nearby hotel.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to say upfront that I am happy to pay for this out of my own pocket.\u00a0 I\u2019ll leave a standing order for a wakeup call each morning to make sure I\u2019m back on time.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll take care of my own breakfast.\u00a0 Hear the savings?\u00a0 This is a win-win.<\/p>\n

Modification #3.\u00a0 The Marine\u2019s boot camp ends with a final test, \u201cThe Crucible.\u201d\u00a0 A 54 hour nightmare which includes traveling 48 miles by foot while carrying equipment and overcoming daunting physical challenges.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my concern.\u00a0 I have back and knee issues.\u00a0 My doctor recommends that in lieu of jogging, I exercise using low impact ellipticals. \u00a0So, I\u2019m happy to complete The Crucible, but I\u2019d like to do it at the gym.\u00a0 Heads up, this is an issue which we\u2019ll need to keep an eye on during selection for mission deployment.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I\u2019m asking for.\u00a0 Yes, it may appear<\/i> to my fellow recruits that I am \u201ccatching a break\u201d or otherwise receiving some perceived \u201cadvantage.\u201d\u00a0 And I understand how this might interfere with group cohesion, which is apparently a big thing with the Marines.\u00a0 So in exchange for my reasonable modifications, I am willing to agree that after graduation, while I may yell the Marine battle cry, I only get to yell the last syllable.\u00a0 So no \u201cOo,\u201d just \u201crah.\u201d\u00a0 Are we good?<\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

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https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

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https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Muscle memory is an amazing phenomenon.\u00a0 However, they say that by the time a man reaches middle age, while he still has the memory, he no longer has the muscle.\u00a0 This can lead to embarrassing situations, usually involving ladders.\u00a0 For example, finding himself dangling from the edge of a gutter screaming like a girl.\u00a0 Of […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[181,179,182,180,183,186,185,184,178],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-bootcamp","tag-marines","tag-middle-age","tag-military","tag-muscle-memory","tag-oo-rah","tag-oorah","tag-the-crucible","tag-usmc"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1287,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions\/1287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}