{"id":2455,"date":"2020-10-16T19:22:40","date_gmt":"2020-10-17T02:22:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2455"},"modified":"2020-10-16T19:22:45","modified_gmt":"2020-10-17T02:22:45","slug":"murder-hornets-discovered-responsible-for-covid-19-pandemic-to-conceal-plan-for-worldwide-domination","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2455","title":{"rendered":"Murder Hornets Discovered Responsible for Covid-19 Pandemic to Conceal Plan for Worldwide Domination"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The mainstream\nmedia continues to push the narrative that China was the source of Covid-19.  Think twice before you buy this \u201cfake\nnews.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Answer this:\nWhat is the last thing you\u2019ve been thinking about since you began wearing a facemask,\nhiding under you bed, and peeing yourself each time a stranger gets within six\nfeet?  Murder Hornets!  That\u2019s what! \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Call me an\nunhinged conspiracy theorist, but if you haven\u2019t at least considered that\nMurder Hornets are behind this entire international calamity, you, my friend, just\nfell off the turnip truck.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is a\nsample of the subtle headlines plastered across America that you are NOT\nnoticing because Covid-19 stories are clogging up ALL the media space:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTerrifying\n‘murder hornets’ invade US\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 UPI.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cStudy:\nGiant murder hornets could invade entire region if left unchecked\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 KOMO News.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2018Murder\nHornets\u2019 invading U.S. will soon enter their \u2018slaughter phase\u2019\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Patriot News.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are\nentering their \u201cSlaughter Phase,\u201d<\/strong> people!  Wake up!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go ahead,\nGoogle it.  These are REAL\nheadlines.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And answer\nme another question: Why, on God\u2019s green earth, has there not been a single<\/em>\nquestion about the Murder Hornet invasion during ANY of the presidential\ndebates?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donald Trump\u2019s\nwall will NOT stop the Murder Hornets! \nJoe Biden\u2019s packing the Supreme Court will NOT stop the Murder\nHornets!  No matter how loud Donald Trump\nyells or how many times Joe Biden answers a question with, \u201cCome on, Man,\u201d none\nof this is going to prevent the Murder Hornets from \u201cstealing our democracy.\u201d  Oh, and a little something called, \u201cKilling\nus in our sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can we address the challenge of confronting the complex, multifaceted problem of holding a presidential election with all the noise and distraction it creates, when we should be laser focused on Murder Hornets?\u00a0 Well, complex problems call for complex solutions.\u00a0 And by \u201ccomplex solutions,\u201d I mean flipping a coin.\u00a0 Everybody says it\u2019s going to be a close election anyway.\u00a0 Why not get it over with?\u00a0 We\u2019ll have Dr. Fauci flip the coin.\u00a0 Everybody loves wacky Dr. Fauci, even if he can\u2019t make up his mind whether \u201cthe research supports\u201d putting our underwear on our heads and walking backwards in public.\u00a0 (The loser of the coin flip can be ambassador of Costa Rica.\u00a0 I hear it\u2019s beautiful down there.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we\u2019ve flipped the coin and become either a fascist or socialist nation, then we can focus of keeping the Murder Hornets from tracking down and eating our children.\u00a0 We can even ask China to help.\u00a0 I hear they have a laboratory in Wuhan that could use a little good PR right now.\u00a0 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The mainstream media continues to push the narrative that China was the source of Covid-19.  Think twice before you buy this \u201cfake news.\u201d  Answer this: What is the last thing you\u2019ve been thinking about since you began wearing a facemask, hiding under you bed, and peeing yourself each time a stranger gets within six feet?  […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[981,931,980],"class_list":["post-2455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-funny-murder-hornets-story","tag-murder-hornet-humor","tag-murder-hornets-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Murder-Hornet.png?fit=1113%2C933&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2455"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2455\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2470,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2455\/revisions\/2470"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}