{"id":2436,"date":"2020-10-10T13:37:31","date_gmt":"2020-10-10T20:37:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2436"},"modified":"2020-10-10T13:37:35","modified_gmt":"2020-10-10T20:37:35","slug":"oregon-all-the-insanity-of-florida-but-conveniently-located-on-the-west-coast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2436","title":{"rendered":"Oregon: All the Insanity of Florida, But Conveniently Located on the West Coast!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Oregon has a rich reputation for rain, recreation and rioting.\u00a0 However, as a native Oregonian, I have never felt my state has been given credit for another richly deserved quality.\u00a0 I am speaking, of course, about insanity.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s begin with\nits traffic laws.  Consider these two Oregon\ntraffic laws currently being enforced  \u0336  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Oregon\nrequires that a driver use his turn signal for a minimum of 100 feet before\nchanging lanes.  If a driver makes a\nright turn and then needs to make a left turn 50 feet down the road \u2013 and uses\nhis left turn signal THE ENTIRE 50 FEET \u2013 a police officer can lawful stop the\ndriver for a violation of the turn signal law. \nYes, you read that correctly \u2013 Impossibility and the Newton\u2019s Law of \u201cGod-given\nCommon Sense,\u201d are not a defense to Oregon\u2019s 100-foot turn signal\nrequirement.  Welcome to Oregon!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, add this\n– <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Oregon traffic\nlaw considers moving from a parked position on the street into the lane of\ntravel to be \u201cchanging lanes.\u201d  Thus, getting\ninto your parked car, and then pulling into the lane of travel requires you use\na turn signal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s my point \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The logical implication of the above two laws is that every time an Oregon driver gets into his car, turns on his turn signal, and then pulls into the lane of travel \u2013 because he has not used his turn signal for 100 feet – HE IS VIOLATING OREGON\u2019S TRAFFIC LAW!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given the insanity of these Oregon laws, this next ditty may not come as any shocking surprise.\u00a0 Oregon ALSO requires the use of a turn signal even if turning in that direction is the driver\u2019s ONLY option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may be thinking, \u201cJack, I\u2019m sure the police in Oregon would never stop a driver for failing to use a turn signal when he is turning in the only possible direction.\u201d\u00a0 And you would be wrong.\u00a0 A bored officer at 2 a.m. on a Saturday morning is more than happy to enforce this FLAGRANT violation.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oregon appellate courts have interpreted our traffic laws EXACTLY as I explained above, with the exception of the \u201cpulling into traffic\u201d example, which, as I have explained, is a logical extrapolation of the other two laws.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By now, you\u2019re probably thinking, \u2018Okay, but every state has it\u2019s idiosyncrasies.\u2019\u00a0 This is true, however, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit Exhibits 1, 2 and 3:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Do other states blow up whales?\u00a0 We did. Blubber flying through the sky landing on cars and spectators as far as the eye could see.\u00a0 Google it.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Did they name their major city using the flip of a coin?\u00a0 Oregon did.\u00a0 Portland had a 50\/50 chance of being named Boston.\u00a0 (Can Oregon come up with ANY original name? \u00a0It\u2019s a miracle our state isn\u2019t named West Massachusetts.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finally, I present \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exhibit 3: Oregon didn\u2019t have ANY laws against possessing, manufacturing or using dynamite until 1970. \u00a0Prior to that, it was \u201cbombs away!\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, visit Oregon soon. \u00a0Just be sure to obey our laws, and by \u201cobey our laws,\u201d I mean never, under any circumstances, should you EVER pull your car into traffic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oregon has a rich reputation for rain, recreation and rioting.\u00a0 However, as a native Oregonian, I have never felt my state has been given credit for another richly deserved quality.\u00a0 I am speaking, of course, about insanity.\u00a0 Let\u2019s begin with its traffic laws.  Consider these two Oregon traffic laws currently being enforced  \u0336  1. Oregon […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2438,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[624],"class_list":["post-2436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-oregon-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Oregon-the-Florida-of-the-West-Coast.jpeg?fit=3344%2C2803&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2436"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2454,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2436\/revisions\/2454"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}