{"id":2416,"date":"2020-10-03T07:57:29","date_gmt":"2020-10-03T14:57:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2416"},"modified":"2020-10-03T07:57:34","modified_gmt":"2020-10-03T14:57:34","slug":"the-last-undecided-voter-in-america-still-undecided-on-whether-to-watch-the-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2416","title":{"rendered":"The Last Undecided Voter in America Still Undecided on Whether to Watch the Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Bob\nGrossmeyer sat at his kitchen table in Akron, Ohio, last Tuesday morning\ndiscussing the presidential election with Senior Political Reporter for\nJocularious.com, Mary Sandoval. \nGrossmeyer, the last undecided voter in America, explained his dilemma\nover whether to watch the debate that night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLook,\u201d he said to Sandoval, slowly and carefully choosing his words, \u201cIt\u2019s a difficult decision.\u00a0 Sure, watching the debate might help me decide.\u00a0 But (he paused for effect), there are also several other entertaining programs on television tonight.\u00a0 Then, of course, there\u2019s the option of NOT watching television.\u00a0 I could listen to music, or I could take a walk.\u00a0 I could listen to music AND take a walk. I\u2019m sure you understand my point.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandoval sat pondering the balding, middle-aged man sipping on his decaf.\u00a0 She left his home shortly thereafter shaking her head and praying she’d never have to spend another moment with the man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandoval’s editor did not hear her prayer. He told her to follow up the next day. So, she phoned Grossmeyer to find out what he\u2019d finally decided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI watched it.\u00a0 I watched almost all of it.\u00a0 Just as I was tying my shoe laces to go take a walk, I changed my mind and turned on the television.\u00a0 I missed the first ten minutes.\u00a0 Trump\u2019s face was already red from screaming, and Biden was already repeating the phrase, \u2018Come on, man!\u2019 like a verbal Gatling gun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandoval\nasked Grossmeyer what he considered the most memorable moments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNumber one has to be when Trump started making fun of Biden for wearing a mask the size of Nebraska everywhere he goes.\u00a0 I laughed my a** off.\u00a0 Hilarious.\u00a0 I may not know who I\u2019m voting for yet, but I\u2019ll tell you one thing.\u00a0 Love him or hate him, Trump\u2019s fearless attitude toward the coronavirus is going to serve him well between now and the election.\u00a0 Mark my words.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNumber two has to be Biden\u2019s snappy comeback when Trump pointed out that the wife of Moscow\u2019s mayor gave Biden\u2019s son, Hunter, 3 \u00bd million dollars.\u00a0 Biden didn\u2019t hesitate for a nanosecond. He fired right back: \u2018Come on, man!\u00a0 That\u2019s been totally debunked!\u2019\u00a0 Point, set, match, Joe Biden.\u00a0 Talk about putting an issue to rest.\u00a0 He had probably been practicing that zinger in the basement all week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandoval ask\nGrossmeyer if the debate helped him move any closer to a decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot an inch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grossmeyer hung up the phone and walked to the refrigerator.\u00a0 He opened the door and stood staring intently at its contents.\u00a0 He stood there motionless for ten minutes. What in the world to make for dinner?\u00a0 If only, he could decide.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bob Grossmeyer sat at his kitchen table in Akron, Ohio, last Tuesday morning discussing the presidential election with Senior Political Reporter for Jocularious.com, Mary Sandoval.  Grossmeyer, the last undecided voter in America, explained his dilemma over whether to watch the debate that night. \u201cLook,\u201d he said to Sandoval, slowly and carefully choosing his words, \u201cIt\u2019s […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2422,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[978,873,977,979],"class_list":["post-2416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-debate-humor","tag-election-humor","tag-presidential-debate-humor","tag-presidential-election-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Debate-close-up.jpeg?fit=1821%2C1527&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2416"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2434,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2416\/revisions\/2434"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}