{"id":2402,"date":"2020-09-26T15:45:48","date_gmt":"2020-09-26T22:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2402"},"modified":"2020-09-26T15:45:53","modified_gmt":"2020-09-26T22:45:53","slug":"oliver-the-cat-officially-changes-his-name-to-the-gladiator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2402","title":{"rendered":"Oliver the Cat Officially Changes His Name to “The Gladiator”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

When we\nthink of combat sports, we think of MMA fighting and boxing.  The image of a cat fighting a roll of paper\ntowels inside a bathtub isn\u2019t often the first<\/em> thing to come to\nmind.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had never seen or heard of such a thing myself until I was leaning over to start shaving recently.\u00a0 All of a sudden, all hell broke loose behind me.\u00a0 For a moment, I thought I was going to be the victim of a brutal home invasion.\u00a0 Instead, I turned to see Oliver the Cat locked in an epic battle with a roll of paper towels inside our bathtub.\u00a0 I have no idea why a roll of paper towels was in our bathroom, and I am unaware of any previous animosity between Oliver and any of our household paper products.\u00a0 Nevertheless, they were going at it<\/em>.\u00a0 Flipping and twisting with Oliver inflicting savage bite after savage bite.\u00a0 Intense<\/em> \u201ckiller\u201d bites!\u00a0 The roll of paper towels was holding its own, but it had the unfortunate disadvantage of lacking teeth, claws, or any gripping appendages.\u00a0 However, that roll could sure bounce back from a bite.\u00a0 Throughout the battle, the roll displayed impressive fortitude in the face of Oliver\u2019s savage onslaught.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alas, Oliver\nthe Cat ultimately prevailed over his household commodity nemesis.  And in the aftermath, he lay in the glow of his\nvictory next to the body of his grizzled opponent.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t help but be proud of Oliver\u2019s ingenuity.\u00a0 He\u2019s invented an entertaining blood sport MINUS the blood, AND one that is unlikely to draw throngs of PETA activists protesting in the streets wearing cat costumes.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before\nCOVID, I\u2019m not sure how much money I\u2019d pay to see a cat fight a roll of paper\ntowels.  However, with so many sports\nstill in hiatus, and ESPN relegated to broadcasting reruns of 1980\u2019s professional\nbowling league quarterfinals, Oliver has a shot at the big time.  Don\u2019t be surprised if the next time you tune\ninto Fox Sports or ESPN 1, 2, 3 \u2026 ad infinitum<\/em>, you see Oliver the Cat\nmixing it up with a roll of Bounty inside what appears to be a suburban bathtub.  (Insider tip: Put your money on the cat.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we think of combat sports, we think of MMA fighting and boxing.  The image of a cat fighting a roll of paper towels inside a bathtub isn\u2019t often the first thing to come to mind.  I had never seen or heard of such a thing myself until I was leaning over to start shaving […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2403,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[766,835,976],"class_list":["post-2402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-cat-humor","tag-funny-cats","tag-humorous-cats"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Oliver-the-Gladiator.png?fit=1342%2C1125&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2402"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2411,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2402\/revisions\/2411"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}