{"id":2276,"date":"2020-07-11T14:23:17","date_gmt":"2020-07-11T21:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2276"},"modified":"2020-07-11T14:23:23","modified_gmt":"2020-07-11T21:23:23","slug":"how-to-make-a-million-dollars-in-less-than-60-seconds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2276","title":{"rendered":"How to Make a Million Dollars in Less Than 60 Seconds"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s not\nkid ourselves.  When we think about what\u2019s\nreally important in life, we think about family.  We think about friends.  We think about deeply meaningful experiences.  And, of course, we think about the most\nimportant thing \u2013 MONEY.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why\nI feel compelled to share my no-frills, \u201cguaranteed to get you a million bucks\u201d\naction plan.  I call it, \u201cHow to Make a\nMillion Dollars in Less Than 60 Seconds.\u201d \nI\u2019m not pulling your leg.  This plan\ndoesn\u2019t just work most<\/em> of the time, it works EVERY SINGLE TIME!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I suggest\nthat you get a pen or pencil out to take notes or copy and paste this Jocularious\ncolumn into a file on your computer.  Be sure\nto back up your computer file with Carbonite.com, or print it out and hide it\nunder your mattress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This plan involves\nthree simple steps.  It is critical <\/em>that\nyou follow each and every step in order, and DO NOT skip any of the steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is the\nformula –<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, graduate\nfrom high school with a 4.0 gpa, and get a SAT score in the top 3% nationally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, enroll\nin an Ivy League University and obtain a degree in Finance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, secure\na job on Wall Street as an investment banker. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes!  It\u2019s that easy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AND, even\nreading slowly, it took me less than 20 seconds to read this entire\nformula.  I really should rename this\ncolumn, How to Make a Million Dollars in Less Than 20 Seconds.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sincerely hope\nmy advice met your expectations.  This\nis, of course, my goal with every Jocularious column.  (I said \u201cgoal,\u201d people!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, even if you don\u2019t follow my advice, at least you\u2019ve got that \u201cfamily, friends and meaningful experiences\u201d thing going for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do me a favor –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please comment and share!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s not kid ourselves.  When we think about what\u2019s really important in life, we think about family.  We think about friends.  We think about deeply meaningful experiences.  And, of course, we think about the most important thing \u2013 MONEY.    This is why I feel compelled to share my no-frills, \u201cguaranteed to get you a […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[961,963,962,958],"class_list":["post-2276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-961","tag-funny-money","tag-money-humor","tag-one-million-dollars"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Million.jpeg?fit=1019%2C532&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2276"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2283,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2276\/revisions\/2283"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}