{"id":2263,"date":"2020-07-04T15:08:28","date_gmt":"2020-07-04T22:08:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2263"},"modified":"2020-07-04T15:08:33","modified_gmt":"2020-07-04T22:08:33","slug":"oliver-the-cat-announces-he-has-finally-adjusted-to-the-new-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2263","title":{"rendered":"Oliver the Cat Announces He has Finally Adjusted to the “New Normal”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Oliver
Oliver in Repose<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Learning how\nto adapt to the \u201cnew normal\u201d has been a challenge for everyone.  Oliver the Cat is no exception.  In fact, it has weighed heavily<\/em> on his\nmind.  So heavily, he realized he needed\nto take immediate action to resolve this issue. \nAnd by \u201cimmediate action,\u201d of course, I mean take a seven-hour nap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oliver has\nthree primary worries \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, Oregon\u2019s governor, like many others across the nation, has issued a decree that facemasks are now mandatory.\u00a0 Oliver is no fool.\u00a0 He\u2019s heard the news that cats can catch COVID-19.\u00a0 However, despite countless hours searching the internet \u2013 Amazon.com, Ebay.com, Bing.com and, of course, Tomcat.com, he still cannot find a mask that fits him.\u00a0 Yeah!\u00a0 That’s right! How could he not freak out?\u00a0 There are NO cat masks to be found!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oliver\u2019s second\nconcern is the lack of healthcare options should he be stricken by the deadly\nvirus.  He\u2019s put in his time listening to\nthe talking heads on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. \n(As a Libertarian, Oliver likes to get all sides.)  And not once. \nNOT ONE TIME, has anyone mentioned a ventilator being modified to fit a\ncat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If these concerns weren\u2019t enough, Oliver has yet another problem.\u00a0 And it\u2019s not a small one.\u00a0 As you might imagine, Oliver is a BIG fan of Jocularious.com.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t miss a column.\u00a0 Several weeks ago, he read the one titled: \u201cI\u2019m Not Sure What the \u2018New Normal\u2019 Looks Like, But I Think It Involves Pajamas.\u201d\u00a0 Well, Oliver\u2019s been sleeping au natural since the day he was born.\u00a0 If cat pajamas exist, the cheapskates living in his house certainly haven\u2019t shown any sign of buying him a pair.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Oliver pondered these problems, he felt a tremendous weight begin to overwhelm him.\u00a0 He struggled to come to terms with them.\u00a0 He struggled while lying on his front porch.\u00a0 He struggled while taking a poop in his neighbor\u2019s flower garden.\u00a0 He struggled and struggled.\u00a0 Finally, the solution dawned on him.\u00a0 It was the purr-fect solution –<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that was, of course –<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To stretch out for another seven-hour nap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Learning how to adapt to the \u201cnew normal\u201d has been a challenge for everyone.  Oliver the Cat is no exception.  In fact, it has weighed heavily on his mind.  So heavily, he realized he needed to take immediate action to resolve this issue.  And by \u201cimmediate action,\u201d of course, I mean take a seven-hour nap. […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1997,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[766,897,957,914],"class_list":["post-2263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-cat-humor","tag-coronavirus-humor","tag-covid-humor","tag-covid-19-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Oliver-in-Repose.jpeg?fit=3088%2C1613&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2263"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2272,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2263\/revisions\/2272"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1997"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}