{"id":224,"date":"2013-12-19T06:42:34","date_gmt":"2013-12-19T14:42:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=224"},"modified":"2020-04-22T13:50:20","modified_gmt":"2020-04-22T20:50:20","slug":"oregons-wine-country-promotional-license-plates-might-well-say-pull-officer-im-drunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=224","title":{"rendered":"Oregon’s Wine Country License Plates Might As Well Say, “Pull me over, officer. I’m drunk.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Oregon<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s supposed to promote tourism.\u00a0 Oregon has over a dozen of them.\u00a0 Specialty license plates that drivers can order in lieu of Oregon\u2019s generic fir tree plate.\u00a0 Among them are the Salmon plate, the Cultural Trust plate, the Amateur Ham Radio plate, and the Wine Country plate.\u00a0 The picture on the Wine Country plate is a vineyard with a big WC on it, and if that abbreviation isn\u2019t clear enough, the words, \u201cWine Country\u201d are printed at the bottom.\u00a0 I can understand a winery owner slapping a Wine Country plate on his BMW, but the sheer insanity of anyone else doing it is beyond me.\u00a0 A \u201cWine Country\u201d plate might as well say, \u201cPull me over, officer.\u00a0 I\u2019m drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n

Drivers use these plates to make a statement.\u00a0 The Salmon plate allows one to emphasize the importance of conservation.\u00a0 The Cultural Trust plate allows the opera and fine arts crowd to stick their noses up in the air an additional five degrees.\u00a0 And the Ham Radio plate lets the pocket protector brigade proudly announce their expertise.\u00a0 I have to be careful making too much fun of the ham radio guys.\u00a0 (I say “guys” because I\u2019ve never met a girl interested in ham radio).\u00a0 The reason I need to be careful making fun of them is that when everything goes to hell (you know, the Big One hits), I may need one of these folks to help me find my relatives – some of them anyway.<\/p>\n

The Wine Country plates are a whole different matter.\u00a0 Drunk driving laws have now become so strict that if a police officer even smells the hint of liquor on a driver\u2019s breath, he is required to immediately Taser that person in the neck and drag him to the nearest hoosegow.\u00a0 These aren\u2019t license plates, they\u2019re targets.\u00a0 I imagine that Salmon plate people like salmon.\u00a0 And I can\u2019t imagine anyone in their right mind sticking a Ham Radio plate on their car who isn\u2019t a ham radio operator.\u00a0 Well, what do you imagine a cop thinks a Wine Country plate driver is interested in?\u00a0 Anyone?\u00a0 Anyone?\u00a0 Bueller?<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s the nut.\u00a0 If you have the cojones to bolt a Wine Country plate onto your car, you need to keep three things in your vehicle at all times.\u00a0 First, the personal cell phone number of a flesh-eating criminal defense lawyer.\u00a0 Second, a roll of Benjamins to post your bail.\u00a0 And third, lip gloss.\u00a0 Because after you\u2019re arrested, you may as well kiss your *** goodbye.\u00a0 (Why risk chaffing that baby smooth skin of yours?)<\/p>\n

In conclusion, I pose one question to Oregon wine lovers: Have you ever thought of exploring the time-honored, and highly respected hobby of Amateur Ham Radio?<\/p>\n

_______<\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s supposed to promote tourism.\u00a0 Oregon has over a dozen of them.\u00a0 Specialty license plates that drivers can order in lieu of Oregon\u2019s generic fir tree plate.\u00a0 Among them are the Salmon plate, the Cultural Trust plate, the Amateur Ham Radio plate, and the Wine Country plate.\u00a0 The picture on the Wine Country plate is […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[153,154,18,152,532,33,19,92,151,150],"class_list":["post-224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-drunk-driving","tag-dui","tag-funny","tag-ham-radio","tag-humor","tag-laugh","tag-lol","tag-oregon","tag-vineyard","tag-wine"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=224"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2109,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224\/revisions\/2109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}