{"id":2209,"date":"2020-06-05T17:29:18","date_gmt":"2020-06-06T00:29:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2209"},"modified":"2020-07-05T17:02:34","modified_gmt":"2020-07-06T00:02:34","slug":"target-employee-thought-it-was-just-a-door-buster-sale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2209","title":{"rendered":"Target Employee Thought It Was Just A Door-buster Sale"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Video footage of people looting and ransacking everything from neighborhood markets to Lois Vuitton stores has blanketed media outlets.  We sit stunned as we witness the destruction and mayhem.  And as we watch this looting break out across the nation, we are all gripped by one unifying thought:  Why didn\u2019t I invest in plywood? I would have made a mint!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is why\nWarren Buffett has a Gulfstream G-6 and I have a 2002 Toyota Tacoma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Investment\nerrors aside, looters need to consider the consequences of their actions before\ngrabbing that 65\u201d flat screen.  In\nparticular:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The IRS Code defines \u201cGross Income\u201d as \u201cincome from whatever source derived….\u2019\u201d  If you ask an IRS agent whether looted property is taxable, he\u2019ll ask you whether you want the top or bottom bunk while you wait for your Tax Evasion trial if you fail to report it.  I\u2019m not saying you need to take your CPA with you as you make your political statement by liberating a pair of pearl earrings from a shattered display case, but you might want to keep him on speed dial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. The odds of grabbing the correct size of Nikes as you jostle within the melee of other \u201cshoppers\u201d grabbing for shoe boxes are not in your favor.  And even if by chance you do grab the right size (and believe me, I\u2019ve learned this the hard way) Nikes run a bit small.  You really should try them on before you commit to a pair.  Under the unique circumstances of a looting, what with all the sirens blaring and needing to dodge those shards of broken glass, this is a challenge even for the most experienced looter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Most stores have a fairly unforgiving Return Policy on looted goods.  They tend to be reluctant when it comes to exchanges.  And if you ask for a refund, prepare to duck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the most important takeaway \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether its\nIRS advice, investment advice, footwear advice, or looting advice, don\u2019t listen\nto me.  Remember, I\u2019m the guy with the 2002\nTacoma.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please do me a\nfavor \u2013 Comment and share!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also,\nbefore you leave \u2013<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Link below)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Link below)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Link below)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Video footage of people looting and ransacking everything from neighborhood markets to Lois Vuitton stores has blanketed media outlets.  We sit stunned as we witness the destruction and mayhem.  And as we watch this looting break out across the nation, we are all gripped by one unifying thought:  Why didn\u2019t I invest in plywood? I […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2226,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[950,951],"class_list":["post-2209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-looter-humor","tag-looting-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/Looting-Final-2.png?fit=2030%2C1041&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2209"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2273,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2209\/revisions\/2273"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}