{"id":206,"date":"2013-11-21T06:37:16","date_gmt":"2013-11-21T14:37:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=206"},"modified":"2018-07-25T19:36:58","modified_gmt":"2018-07-26T02:36:58","slug":"killer-casino-jackpot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=206","title":{"rendered":"How to Enjoy a Smoke Free Casino"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Smoke<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

I recently attended a professional conference near a large casino. \u00a0Naturally, I was drawn like a moth to the flame. \u00a0I decided to drop by and make a small donation to the cause.\u00a0 After all, at least it would buy me the privilege of sitting on an uncomfortable stool and damaging my retinas for a couple of hours.\u00a0 My only hesitation, however, was my sanctimonious aversion to cigarette smoke.\u00a0 As you may know, an impenetrable wall of smoke sits immediately inside the entrance of every casino.\u00a0 Federal law requires this.\u00a0 Casinos face stiff fines if the smoke plume hovering over the main floor drops beneath a specific density.\u00a0 If a federal regulator with 20\/20 vision can see through the cloud past the third slot machine, he is required to shut the casino down until the casino can reach acceptable plume density.\u00a0 But lucky for me, this casino advertised Smoke Free Slots.\u00a0 <\/i><\/p>\n

The gambling industry likes to refer to itself as the gaming<\/i> industry.\u00a0 (Another name for it is the mob, but you might be wise to steer clear of that little descriptor, unless you\u2019re on good terms with your orthopedic surgeon.)\u00a0 The term gaming<\/i> apparently puts people in a better mood to drop next month\u2019s rent in pursuit of a jackpot.<\/p>\n

Like most middle-aged folks, I grew up around people who smoked.\u00a0 We never thought about it.\u00a0 Someone might ask, \u201cMind if I smoke?\u201d as they lit up in your home or car.\u00a0 Or they might not.\u00a0 And car ashtrays were for ashes, not spare change.\u00a0 Ashtrays were everywhere, every table of every restaurant.\u00a0 You were never ten feet from an ashtray.\u00a0 Now we refer to secondhand smoke in the same tone we reserve for the term radioactive death plume.\u00a0 It\u2019s now socially acceptable to remove the tire iron from your car and bludgeon anyone who lights up within 25 feet of you.\u00a0 Especially in my state.\u00a0 My state has outlawed even displaying a cigarette in public.\u00a0 People react as though you\u2019re brandishing a Colt .45.<\/p>\n

Except<\/i> in casinos.<\/p>\n

In states that have banned smoking in public places, not only is smoking banned from restaurants, but in venues where smokers have traditionally hung out \u2013 bars, pool halls, bowling alleys.\u00a0 Casinos are the smokers\u2019 last refuge.\u00a0 It was into this lion\u2019s den I entered to enjoy their Smoke Free Slots.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not an architect or an environmental engineer, but as I made my way through the doorway and down the hall to the Smoke Free Slots, I looked to my left and noticed what appeared to be a minor design flaw.\u00a0 There was no wall separating the Smoke Free Slots from the main casino floor.\u00a0 The designer also forgot one of his fourth grade science lessons \u2013 the one about smoke rising.\u00a0 The floor of the Smoke Free Slots area was elevated from the main floor.\u00a0 I had to hand it to them though.\u00a0 There was noticeably less <\/i>smoke hovering over the Smoke Free Slots.\u00a0 The haze was akin to LA on a crisp spring day when the coastal breezes are blowing 30 to 40 percent of the smog inland.<\/p>\n

I walked to the farthest back corner and took a seat.\u00a0 My eyes were tingling only slightly from the mildly smoky, smoke-free air, so I fed the machine a bill.\u00a0 No sooner had the machine swallowed my money when a burly guy in a windbreaker plopped down in front of the machine next to me.\u00a0 He fed it a twenty, and yes, simultaneously lit up a butt.\u00a0 In his defense, I feel compelled to admit, How was he to know<\/i>?\u00a0 But that was it for me.\u00a0 This was the point of my swift surrender and hasty retreat.<\/p>\n

_______<\/p>\n

WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Earn good karma!\u00a0 Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

And Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s free and easy, and each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a Three Minute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently attended a professional conference near a large casino. \u00a0Naturally, I was drawn like a moth to the flame. \u00a0I decided to drop by and make a small donation to the cause.\u00a0 After all, at least it would buy me the privilege of sitting on an uncomfortable stool and damaging my retinas for a […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[124,126,127,128,125],"class_list":["post-206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-casino","tag-gambling","tag-gaming","tag-mob","tag-smoking"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1415,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions\/1415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}