{"id":2038,"date":"2020-03-22T08:21:53","date_gmt":"2020-03-22T15:21:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2038"},"modified":"2020-03-22T08:22:01","modified_gmt":"2020-03-22T15:22:01","slug":"pangolins-protest-negative-image-seek-new-publicist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2038","title":{"rendered":"Pangolins Protest Negative Image, Seek New Publicist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Life has\nbeen tough on the pangolin community recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not\nbad enough that we\u2019re being eaten,\u201d announced a senior pangolin representative,\n\u201cnow<\/em>, we\u2019re being blamed for a pandemic?!  This is an outrage!\u201d  The representative continued, \u201cAnd to make\nmatters worse, whenever someone asks what a pangolin is, they\u2019re told we look\nlike an armadillo.  An armadillo?  Really?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gone are the good old days when all the pangolins had to worry about was having their scales plucked off and being roasted to a medium rare.\u00a0 Of course, they also got to enjoy the excitement of living on the brink of extinction.\u00a0 According to an American Geographic article (where I stole the above picture of a pangolin), pangolins are an endangered species. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cold-hearted\nauthor\u2019s comment: Pangolins can\u2019t be that tasty or the Chinese would be\nbreeding them like chickens.  Vendors\nwould be selling their meat on sticks to tourists next to the Great Wall.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The psychological pressure of being falsely accused of starting the pandemic is taking its toll.\u00a0 Pangolin mental health professionals report a rise in pangolin suicides.\u00a0 A recent press release included the following: \u201cNot a day goes by that a young pangolin doesn\u2019t march straight into a Wuhan restaurant kitchen and turn belly up for the taking.\u201d\u00a0 The release continues, \u201cThey simply can\u2019t imagine a bright future for themselves or their fellow pangolin.\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to stories in the crushing, nonstop, \u201cPlease, Lord, let it stop,\u201d mainstream media, bats are the true culprits.\u00a0 Americans have learned a new term: \u201cBat Soup.\u201d\u00a0 And, no.\u00a0 It has nothing to do with baseball. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please visit\nthe pangolin GoFundMe page to help send this worthy species on a much-needed\nvacation.  Their nerves are shot.  They need time to recuperate.  Even though the stock market has dropped, and\nyour savings are so far down you\u2019re likely to be eating dog food in retirement,\nsurely, you can afford a little something for the pangolins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you choose to donate to the pangolin relief fund, please do them one favor.\u00a0 Show them one act of dignity and respect.\u00a0 PLEASE stop telling people they look like armadillos.\u00a0 (Yeah<\/em>, I know they really<\/em> do.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Got a moment?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please do me a\nfavor and comment and share!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, consider\nsubscribing – It\u2019s free!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Life has been tough on the pangolin community recently. \u201cIt\u2019s not bad enough that we\u2019re being eaten,\u201d announced a senior pangolin representative, \u201cnow, we\u2019re being blamed for a pandemic?!  This is an outrage!\u201d  The representative continued, \u201cAnd to make matters worse, whenever someone asks what a pangolin is, they\u2019re told we look like an armadillo.  […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[904,905,906],"class_list":["post-2038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-pangolin-humor","tag-pangolin-humour","tag-pangolins"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2038"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2045,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2038\/revisions\/2045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}