{"id":1871,"date":"2020-01-18T08:26:27","date_gmt":"2020-01-18T16:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1871"},"modified":"2020-01-18T08:26:35","modified_gmt":"2020-01-18T16:26:35","slug":"oliver-the-cat-adopts-peace-through-strength-policy-to-address-provocations-of-milo-the-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1871","title":{"rendered":"Oliver the Cat Adopts “Peace Through Strength” Policy to Address Provocations of Milo the Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Following\nextensive research into 20th<\/sup> Century military tactics, Oliver the\nCat has adopted Ronald Reagan\u2019s \u201cPeace through strength\u201d policy.  Oliver would like you to know that he is NOT\na Republican.  He is a card-carrying Libertarian.  (Well, if he had pockets, he WOULD be a card-carrying\nmember.)  This policy is in keeping with\none of Oliver\u2019s favorite sayings \u2013 the old adage that, \u201cThe best defense is a good\nset of sharp claws<\/em><\/strong>.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oliver is adopting\nthis in direct reaction to occasionally having to share his home with his\nnemesis, Milo the Dog.  Oliver is\nconvinced that Milo is looking for the first opportunity to wolf him down like\na Taco Bell Chalupa.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oliver employs a three-step defense \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step one:<\/strong> When he sees Milo, he immediately \u201cpuffs up.\u201d\u00a0 This is that technique that you\u2019re supposed to use when you see a bear.\u00a0 You lift you coat and raise your hands to making yourself look bigger.\u00a0 In Oliver\u2019s case, he shoots his back up into an arch that would make St. Louis jealous. \u00a0If he does this one more time, we\u2019re going to have to take him to a cat chiropractor.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step two:<\/strong> He fires a \u201chiss\u201d louder than an eighteen-wheeler releasing its air brakes.\u00a0 (Seriously, Freightliner would be impressed.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step three: <\/strong> He charges at his enemy like a rocket.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure what Oliver would do if he ever caught Milo, but I\u2019m not interested in finding out.\u00a0 And I\u2019m quite sure that Milo\u2019s \u201cmom\u201d (my daughter) is not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poor Milo,\non the other hand, is outmatched on every front.  Milo is curious about Oliver, but he doesn\u2019t\nseem to hold any grudges.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Milo only has\none true enemy: Skateboarders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My daughter\nwarned me that Milo \u201cgoes nuts\u201d when he sees a skateboarder.  Even so, I was completely unprepared for the level\nof insanity when he spots one.  He saw a skateboarder\nhalf a block away while I was walking him, and (I am not exaggerating) he almost\njerked my arm out of its socket lunging toward him.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is my fervent\nhope that one day these two furry knuckleheads we be able to achieve a lasting D\u00e9tente.  \n\nIn the meantime, (and I cannot stress this enough),\nit is critical to the safety of all mankind that we keep the launch codes away\nfrom Oliver.\n\n\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Earn good\nkarma!  Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other\nfavorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Following extensive research into 20th Century military tactics, Oliver the Cat has adopted Ronald Reagan\u2019s \u201cPeace through strength\u201d policy.  Oliver would like you to know that he is NOT a Republican.  He is a card-carrying Libertarian.  (Well, if he had pockets, he WOULD be a card-carrying member.)  This policy is in keeping with one of […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[767,849,850],"class_list":["post-1871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-funny-cat","tag-peace-through-strength","tag-ronald-reagan-peace-through-strength"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1871"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1871\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1881,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1871\/revisions\/1881"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}