{"id":1848,"date":"2019-12-31T08:04:02","date_gmt":"2019-12-31T16:04:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1848"},"modified":"2019-12-31T08:04:11","modified_gmt":"2019-12-31T16:04:11","slug":"rose-the-sheep-enjoys-much-needed-support-from-womans-bra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1848","title":{"rendered":"Rose the Sheep Enjoys Much-Needed Support from Woman’s Bra"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
This Picture Used Completely Without Permission from UPI<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll begin\nby apologizing for this udderly ridiculous story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I recently stumbled upon a scientific breakthrough in veterinarian medicine.\u00a0 Sadly, the tsunami of fake news flooding recent headlines has practically drowned out this important, Pulitzer Prize worthy story written by Ben Hooper for UPI.\u00a0 My regular readers know that I believe strongly that writers must stand behind the accuracy of their stories.\u00a0 I will not attempt to dodge that responsibility here.\u00a0 However, because I stole all this information from Mr. Hopper\u2019s article, the SOLE blame for any and all errors should, of course, fall on his shoulders.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A surprisingly little-known fact is that New Zealand sheep are particularly well-endowed.\u00a0 You may be familiar with the various breeds of sheep.\u00a0 There are wool sheep, \u201crack of lamb\u201d sheep, and \u201cMary had a little lamb\u201d sheep (bred specifically for counting).\u00a0 In New Zealand, however, unbeknownst to the rest of us in the civilized world, debauched sheep ranchers have been breeding a line of sheep called Marilyn Monroe sheep.\u00a0 I\u2019m just kidding!\u00a0 They\u2019re called Dolly Parton sheep.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, Mr.\nHopper\u2019s story explains that there is an unfortunate sheep condition that can\ncause a sheep\u2019s udder (SUPER GROSS WARNING! You should really stop reading\nhere) to hang so low that, \u201cit can be traumatized on the ground.\u201d  (Ouch!  Even\nmy nipples are hurting at this point!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know what\nyou\u2019re thinking.  This is a ripe\nopportunity for some creative soul to rip off that classic song that goes, \u201cDo\nyour ears hang low?  Do they wobble to\nand fro?  Can you tie them in a\nknot?  Can you tie them in a bow?\u201d  People discover meaning in life by finding a\nneed and then filling it.  (Do the world\na favor.  Fill this void.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The name of the sheep in the risqu\u00e9 lingerie photo above is Rose.\u00a0 She\u2019s sporting a maternity bra size 24J.\u00a0 The vet cut holes in Rose\u2019s bra so she could nurse her three lambs.\u00a0 (Mr. Hopper\u2019s story insinuates that the third lamb is the one guilty of injuring Rose\u2019s \u201csheep bosom.\u201d)\u00a0 During her pregnancy, it apparently, and without warning, dropped like a fat man from the gallows. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rose\u2019s\nplight has inspired me to begin manufacturing a line of bras for domesticated\nanimals.  Why stop at sheep?  Have you ever taken a good look at the udder\non a Holstein cow?  Talk about one of\nGod\u2019s creatures in need of a little support! \nAnd don\u2019t think for a moment that nanny goats couldn\u2019t use a little\nrelief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to see if Victoria\u2019s Secret wants to partner with me to start a dairy line.\u00a0 We\u2019ll give the new company a seductive name \u2013 \u201cVictoria Secret\u2019s<\/em> Udderly Fabulous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how you\ncan \u201cearn good karma!  Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or\nyour other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll begin by apologizing for this udderly ridiculous story. I recently stumbled upon a scientific breakthrough in veterinarian medicine.\u00a0 Sadly, the tsunami of fake news flooding recent headlines has practically drowned out this important, Pulitzer Prize worthy story written by Ben Hooper for UPI.\u00a0 My regular readers know that I believe strongly that writers must […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[844,843],"class_list":["post-1848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-bra-humor","tag-sheep-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1848","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1848"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1848\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1860,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1848\/revisions\/1860"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1848"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1848"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1848"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}