{"id":1836,"date":"2019-12-28T08:32:10","date_gmt":"2019-12-28T16:32:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1836"},"modified":"2019-12-28T08:32:18","modified_gmt":"2019-12-28T16:32:18","slug":"how-to-become-a-chicken-wing-hero","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1836","title":{"rendered":"How To Become A Chicken Wing Hero"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t want to compare myself to the freedom fighters in Hong Kong, but there arise moments in our lives where we must choose to either step up and act for the greater good or back away and allow wrong to prevail.\u00a0 Good versus evil.\u00a0 I came to such a crossroads recently.\u00a0 It tested my very fiber.\u00a0 Was it on a dusty street in a communist country?\u00a0 Not exactly.\u00a0 It was at a Safeway chicken wing bar.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It occurred\nat the end of a long day.  I stopped by\nSafeway for some takeout.  Safeway has a\nchicken wing cart near its deli.  They\nput out six flavors.  Among them are BBQ,\nBuffalo, General Tso\u2019s, and my favorite, Salt and Vinegar.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is\nwhere the trouble began.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I marched up\nto the chicken wing bar and found, for the third visit in a row<\/em><\/strong>,\nthat all the Salt and Vinegar wings were gone. \nCOMPLETELY gone.  Yet again, I\nfound myself staring down at an empty stainless-steel tray.  My disjointed reflection on its bottom mocked\nme.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is the injustice: All the other trays<\/em> with the other flavored wings were filled to the brim.\u00a0 Salt and Vinegar wings were apparently the crack cocaine of chicken wings.\u00a0 People were literally gobbling them up.\u00a0 And by people, I mean people who got off work earlier than me.\u00a0 Which, by the way, means that they probably weren\u2019t working as hard as me, and therefore, did not deserve the tasty Salt and Vinegar wings nearly as much as me.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was my\nfork in the road.  This was my Birmingham.  This was my Tiananmen Square.  This was my Hong Kong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I marched up\nto the deli counter and demanded to speak to the chicken wing manager.  (I was going straight<\/em><\/strong> to the\ntop.)  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

An older woman in a hair net emerged and said she was the manager.\u00a0 I laid out my complaint in no uncertain terms.\u00a0 Why in the world were they making the same quanity of all the flavors, when any moron with an IQ above room temperature could tell that Salt and Vinegar were the most popular?\u00a0 It was an outrage! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hair net lady listened patiently.\u00a0 Then she explained that the store was sent a box with packets of the same amount of each seasoning for each flavor.\u00a0 They used all the seasoning each day.\u00a0 They were making all the Salt and Vinegar wings they could.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dagnabbit!\u00a0 The hair net lady had me CHECK and MATE!\u00a0 I had dared to step up to the precipice of the chicken wing powers, but the chicken wing powers prevailed \u2013 THIS <\/em>TIME.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would need to retreat and regroup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So for today, but only today, I\u2019ll let the freedom fighters in Hong Kong take all the glory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t want to compare myself to the freedom fighters in Hong Kong, but there arise moments in our lives where we must choose to either step up and act for the greater good or back away and allow wrong to prevail.\u00a0 Good versus evil.\u00a0 I came to such a crossroads recently.\u00a0 It tested my […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[842,841,840],"class_list":["post-1836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-chicken-hero","tag-chicken-wing-humor","tag-chicken-wings"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1836"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1836\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1847,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1836\/revisions\/1847"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}