{"id":1820,"date":"2019-12-21T09:10:24","date_gmt":"2019-12-21T17:10:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1820"},"modified":"2020-12-22T11:19:16","modified_gmt":"2020-12-22T19:19:16","slug":"brace-for-impact-the-first-annual-edwards-family-year-end-letter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1820","title":{"rendered":"The Edwards Family Year-end Letter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1205\" height=\"630\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/E12C2864-5C5A-429B-A1CB-0FA9A097CF76.jpeg?fit=695%2C363\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1821\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/E12C2864-5C5A-429B-A1CB-0FA9A097CF76.jpeg?w=1205&amp;ssl=1 1205w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/E12C2864-5C5A-429B-A1CB-0FA9A097CF76.jpeg?resize=300%2C157&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/E12C2864-5C5A-429B-A1CB-0FA9A097CF76.jpeg?resize=768%2C402&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/E12C2864-5C5A-429B-A1CB-0FA9A097CF76.jpeg?resize=1024%2C535&amp;ssl=1 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We always enjoy reading \u201cYear-end Letters\u201d from families updating us on their activities.\u00a0 I especially enjoy their humble nature.\u00a0 For example, here are a couple of excerpts from a letter I received last year: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>\u201cGuess who just got accepted into Harvard?\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>\u201cJim\ngot an enormous raise!&nbsp; \u2018Somebody\u2019s\u2019\nshopping for a new Escalade!&nbsp; Ha ha!\u201d&nbsp; <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Well, I\u2019ve decided to get in on the act. \u00a0So, without further ado, here is my inaugural Edwards Family Year-end Letter \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>Greetings from the Edwards Family!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We have MUCH\nto be thankful for this year! &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Where to\neven begin?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">We just enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Timmy was released early for good behavior, so he was able to join us!\u00a0 (Those of you who attended his trial know he was railroaded.)\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Little Suzie got a lesson about corporate greed this year.\u00a0 After only five days on the job at McDonald\u2019s, Suzie was shocked to learn about an unreasonable rule.\u00a0 Apparently, buried in the fine print of the McDonald\u2019s employee handbook it says that being late for your shift three days in a row is cause for termination.\u00a0 But Suzie&#8217;s a fighter!  She&#8217;s already filed for unemployment.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The whole family (minus Timmy, of course) had a more exciting summer vacation than we\u2019d planned.\u00a0 Long story short, we checked into a cozy Motel 6 on the highway near Seaside.\u00a0 (Well, it used to be a Motel 6.)\u00a0 It turned out the place had a catastrophic lice infestation.\u00a0 Jumpin\u2019 Jehoshaphat!\u00a0 We\u2019ll remember <em>that <\/em>vacation!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Some of you met Chow Chow, the gentle pit bull we rescued from the pound last year.  Well, Chow Chow was accused of biting another neighbor kid.  He&#8217;s back at the pound awaiting his fate.  Let&#8217;s just say, things aren&#8217;t looking too good for Chow Chow right now.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">That about wraps it up!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">The entire Edwards family wishes you and yours all the luck we\u2019ve enjoyed as we begin the new year! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">(<strong>Important Author\u2019s Note:<\/strong>  The real Edwards family does not have a son named Timmy.\u00a0 We do not have a daughter named Suzie.\u00a0 While we have stayed at the occasional Motel 6, knock on wood, no lice infestations yet.  And we&#8217;ve never met a pit bull named Chow Chow!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"593\" height=\"593\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=593%2C593\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1822\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?w=593&amp;ssl=1 593w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=96%2C96&amp;ssl=1 96w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=24%2C24&amp;ssl=1 24w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=36%2C36&amp;ssl=1 36w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=48%2C48&amp;ssl=1 48w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/X-cat-hat.jpeg?resize=64%2C64&amp;ssl=1 64w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 593px) 100vw, 593px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"background-color:#ffe70b\" class=\"has-background has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>WAIT!\n&nbsp;You\u2019re not done yet.&nbsp; Earn good karma!&nbsp; Please comment and\nshare on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>And Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">It\u2019s free and easy,\nand each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">It\u2019s a <em>Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-large-font-size\"><strong>______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong><em>Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\">Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-background has-medium-font-size has-luminous-vivid-amber-background-color\"><strong><em>The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> <strong>\u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax\">https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-background has-medium-font-size has-luminous-vivid-amber-background-color\"><strong><em>Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground &#8211;<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn\">https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-background has-medium-font-size has-luminous-vivid-amber-background-color\"><strong>Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer &#8211;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov\">https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We always enjoy reading \u201cYear-end Letters\u201d from families updating us on their activities.\u00a0 I especially enjoy their humble nature.\u00a0 For example, here are a couple of excerpts from a letter I received last year: \u201cGuess who just got accepted into Harvard?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cJim got an enormous raise!&nbsp; \u2018Somebody\u2019s\u2019 shopping for a new Escalade!&nbsp; Ha ha!\u201d&nbsp; Well, <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1820\">[&hellip;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[838,837,836,839],"class_list":["post-1820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-christmas-letter","tag-funny-letter","tag-humor-letter","tag-year-end-letter"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1820"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1820\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2557,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1820\/revisions\/2557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}