{"id":1800,"date":"2019-12-07T13:36:46","date_gmt":"2019-12-07T21:36:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1800"},"modified":"2019-12-07T13:36:54","modified_gmt":"2019-12-07T21:36:54","slug":"georgia-peach-farmer-upset-to-learn-impeachment-hearings-not-about-peaches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1800","title":{"rendered":"Georgia Peach Farmer Upset to Learn Impeachment Hearings Not About Peaches"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll admit\nit.  The title of this column is just a\nfantasy of mine.  I do enjoy imagining,\nhowever, that somewhere out there, perhaps south of the Mason-Dixon Line, one\nlonely peach-obsessed farmer discovered mid-impeachment hearings that the entire\nhubbub had nothing to do with peaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, not\nonly did it have absolutely nothing to do with peaches, it didn\u2019t even have anything\nto do with farmers \u2013 not even UNKRAINIAN farmers!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nDemocrats\u2019 official position is that it is their solemn constitutional duty to\nremove President Trump from office due to the clear and imminent danger he\nposes.  And that danger is that he may\nwell wipe the floor with whomever Marxist-sympathizer the Democrats nominate to\nrun against him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nRepublicans\u2019 official position is that, yes, President Trump is a lying carnival\nbarker who wouldn\u2019t know the truth if it snuck up and bit him on his\nconsiderable backside.  But he is THEIR lying\ncarnival barker, and they\u2019re going to hang onto him come hell or high water.  Oh, AND the stock market just hit 28,000!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are\namong the one-tenth of 1% of Americans actually watching the impeachment\nhearings, I visited the Official US Congress website and found a page called, \u201cThe\nOfficial Impeachment Definition Guide.\u201d \nI copied it, and I posted it here for your convenience \u2013 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Constitutional\nCrisis:<\/strong> Even the mere\nthought that \u201cRussian agent\u201d Donald Trump might win a second term.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Witch Hunt:<\/strong>\u00a0The quest to find any Trump short-coming, even if Adam Schiff has to pull back the elastic band and peak into Trump\u2019s underpants.\u00a0 (A task that Schiff seems entirely willing, perhaps even disturbingly eager, to perform.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Senate Impeachment Trial: <\/strong>The Senate version of kindergarten naptime, except before laying down on their mats, the senate \u201cjurors\u201d remove their dentures.\u00a0 The verdict is expected to be a nail biter.\u00a0 Senate Majority Leader McConnell seems pretty wishy-washy on the issue.\u00a0 It appears he could tilt either way.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sleep Aid:<\/strong> [See Senate Impeachment Trial definition above]. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile,\nin \u201cflyover country,\u201d the people who are paying for all the Lincoln Town Cars\nto ushers these very important people around just want to grow their peaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WAIT!\n You\u2019re not done yet.  Earn good karma!  Please comment and\nshare on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It\u2019s a Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ll admit it.  The title of this column is just a fantasy of mine.  I do enjoy imagining, however, that somewhere out there, perhaps south of the Mason-Dixon Line, one lonely peach-obsessed farmer discovered mid-impeachment hearings that the entire hubbub had nothing to do with peaches. Sadly, not only did it have absolutely nothing to […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[831,833,832],"class_list":["post-1800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-impeachment-humor","tag-peach-humor","tag-policial-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1800"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1810,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800\/revisions\/1810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}