{"id":1738,"date":"2019-10-12T08:03:23","date_gmt":"2019-10-12T15:03:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1738"},"modified":"2019-10-12T09:29:42","modified_gmt":"2019-10-12T16:29:42","slug":"time-to-visit-ukraine-the-disneyland-of-eastern-europe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1738","title":{"rendered":"Time to Visit Ukraine: The Disneyland of Eastern Europe"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
Map brazenly stolen from Wikipedia
(in the fine Ukrainian tradition)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Like most Americans, you\u2019ve probably been asking yourself this question: \u201cIsn\u2019t it time I vacation in Ukraine?\u201d\u00a0 If so, you can\u2019t afford to delay.\u00a0 I am warning you about this because I was recently informed (this is EXTREMELY TRUE) that the name of the Ukrainian national anthem is (again, I swear this is true \u2013 look it up), \u201cThe Glory and the Will of Ukraine Have Not Yet Died.\u201d\u00a0 To be clear, Ukraine is announcing that it is<\/em> dying \u2013 AND the Ukrainians are apparently quite proud of the fact, but it\u2019s dying nonetheless.\u00a0 But\u2026, \u201cNot Yet.\u201d\u00a0 So reserve your plane ticket pronto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while you\u2019re at it, order some Ukrainian currency from your bank.\u00a0 The counterpart to our dollar is the Ukrainian \u201chryvnia<\/a>.\u201d\u00a0 (This is pronounced \u201chryvnia.\u201d)\u00a0 The current exchange rate is one US dollar to 24.62 hryvnias.\u00a0 So a hryvnia is worth about four cents.\u00a0 Hryvnias are subdivided into 100 parts called kopiyoks.\u00a0 (The simple mathematical calculation to determine the US currency value of a single kopiyok is as follows: 1 hryvnia, divided by 100 kopiyoks, times 24. 62 = Zero. Therefore, mathematically speaking, kopiyoks have no value.) Practically speaking, Ukrainians use 50-pound bags of kopiyoks as doorstops.\u00a0 In fact, a common “witty” retort in Ukraine is, \u201cI don\u2019t give a kopiyok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another reason to visit Ukraine is its rich heritage of intricate, artistic design.  This history of combining rich color with beautiful, complex designs is most prominently displayed by the dazzling intricacy of the Ukrainian national flag. Here it is \u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Yet another\ngood reason to visit (if you even need one), is that Russia has been gobbling\nup Ukrainian territory like a fat guy swallowing a pizza.  They\u2019ve already grabbed an area called the\n\u201cCrimea.\u201d  (This is the peninsula\nsticking off the bottom part of the map.)  Ukrainians refer to the Crimea as, \u201cThe\nFlorida of the Ukraine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, start\nbooking those Airbnb\u2019s and reserving those tables at the hot spots in Kyiv and\nPoltava.  Because while \u201cThe Glory and\nthe Will of Ukraine Have Not Yet Died,\u201d the Russian clock is ticking.  If you want to visit Ukraine while it still\nhas its \u201cGlory and Will,\u201d now\u2019s the time to stuff a few hundred thousand hryvnias\nin your pocket and make your move. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

WAIT!  <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not done yet.  Earn good karma!  Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s free and easy,\nand each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Like most Americans, you\u2019ve probably been asking yourself this question: \u201cIsn\u2019t it time I vacation in Ukraine?\u201d\u00a0 If so, you can\u2019t afford to delay.\u00a0 I am warning you about this because I was recently informed (this is EXTREMELY TRUE) that the name of the Ukrainian national anthem is (again, I swear this is true \u2013 […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[819,820],"class_list":["post-1738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-ukraine-humor","tag-ukrainian-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1738"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1748,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738\/revisions\/1748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}