{"id":1576,"date":"2019-06-01T07:24:20","date_gmt":"2019-06-01T14:24:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1576"},"modified":"2019-06-01T07:24:29","modified_gmt":"2019-06-01T14:24:29","slug":"the-san-francisco-poop-map-your-opportunity-awaits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1576","title":{"rendered":"The San Francisco Poop Map – your opportunity awaits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The nonprofit \u201cOpen the Books\u201d has published a San\nFrancisco \u201cpoop map.\u201d  (Google it if you\ndon\u2019t believe me.)  The \u201cPoop Map\u201d charts\nall the locations where volunteer poop reporters have found \u201cdeposits\u201d of human\nfecal matter.  After this map was\npublished, most people looked at it and only saw the obvious \u2013\u2013 one BIG pile of\npoop.  However, I looked at it and\nimmediately smelled an opportunity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me explain \u2013\u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you look closely, you\u2019ll see that not a single pile of\npoop was reported on the Golden Gate Bridge. \nNot one!  The Golden Gate Bridge\nis 1.6 miles across.  That\u2019s 1.6 miles of\nvirgin<\/em> territory.  To an industrious individual with a \u201ccan-do\u201d\nattitude, this presents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  If somebody acts quickly, he can be the first\nto leave his not-so indelible mark on one of the world\u2019s greatest engineering achievements.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of man\u2019s deepest longings is to leave a reminder to the\nworld that he existed.  To the first \u201ctaker\u201d\n(or \u201cleaver\u201d as the case may be) of this opportunity, this hero is one deuce away\nfrom immortality.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the\nmoon, do you really think the only thing he left behind was a flag?  Look, I don\u2019t pretend to be an official<\/em> NASA historian, but I\u2019ve been on\nplenty of road trips.  And if there is\none thing I know about road trips, it\u2019s that when the car finally pulls into a\ngas station, \u201cthings\u201d get left behind.  How\nfar is it to the moon again?  A quarter\nof a million miles?  Do the math. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This \u201cGolden\u201d (Gate) opportunity isn\u2019t going to last long\nfolks.  The San Francisco Poop Map is\npopping up all over cable news.  Noticing\nthis situation isn\u2019t exactly like deciphering an Egyptian Hieroglyphic.  It\u2019s staring all of us in the face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone needs to step up. \nAnd that someone is YOU.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll even provide step-by-step instructions \u2013\u2013  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wear a long overcoat. \nWalk about half way across, and then pretend like you\u2019re just bending\nover to catch your breath.  Bingo-bong-o.  Done. \nMission accomplished.     <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And once you\u2019ve proven you have the \u201cright stuff\u201d to leave\nyour mark on San Francisco\u2019s most iconic landmark, why rest on your laurels?  Shoot for the stars!  How so, you ask? Take another look at the map.  Another challenge awaits.  Another mountain to climb.  This is because, believe it or not \u2013\u2013<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The pristine (and poop-less) shores of Alcatraz sits\ninnocently awaiting your arrival.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

WAIT!\n You\u2019re not done yet.  Earn good karma!  Please comment and\nshare on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s free and easy,\nand each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The nonprofit \u201cOpen the Books\u201d has published a San Francisco \u201cpoop map.\u201d  (Google it if you don\u2019t believe me.)  The \u201cPoop Map\u201d charts all the locations where volunteer poop reporters have found \u201cdeposits\u201d of human fecal matter.  After this map was published, most people looked at it and only saw the obvious \u2013\u2013 one BIG […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[774,773,254,786],"class_list":["post-1576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-poop-humor","tag-poop-map","tag-san-francisco","tag-san-francisco-poop-map"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1576"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1609,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1576\/revisions\/1609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}