{"id":1557,"date":"2019-04-20T07:57:57","date_gmt":"2019-04-20T14:57:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1557"},"modified":"2019-04-20T10:05:35","modified_gmt":"2019-04-20T17:05:35","slug":"absolutely-true-story-worlds-evil-veterinarian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1557","title":{"rendered":"The Absolutely True Story of the World\u2019s Most Evil Veterinarian"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I shamelessly stole this story from a friend who I will refer to for the purposes of this column as \u201cBo.\u201d\u00a0 This is because his true, accurate and legal name is Bo Mackey.\u00a0 Bo told me this story in confidence, so please, whatever you do, keep it to yourself.\u00a0 It is now my favorite story.\u00a0 It has replaced my previous favorite story about my friend Chris Linn, and Chris finding himself in third world bathroom sans any toilet paper, and concludes with him walking out of said bathroom, sans his socks.\u00a0 (Don\u2019t worry, Chris.\u00a0 You\u2019re still hanging in solidly at #2 – for your #2).<\/p>\n

Bo swears this story is true.\u00a0 After hearing it, I felt a duty (a moral obligation, actually) to share it with you, my loyal subscribers.<\/p>\n

A friend of Bo\u2019s has a veterinarian who is a \u201cmobile vet\u201d \u2013 one of those veterinarians who works out of a van.\u00a0 Bo\u2019s friend schedules this vet to stop by and see one of his dogs.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure what the dog\u2019s problem was, but suffice it to say, I\u2019m sure it was for a reason that most cheapskate pet owners (me) would never consider calling a vet for.<\/p>\n

So the vet stops by and puts a Band-Aid on the paw of this dog, or whatever service he uses his seven years of higher education to perform.\u00a0 Then he hops back in his van, and while he\u2019s backing out of the guy\u2019s driveway, he accidentally runs over the guy\u2019s other dog.\u00a0 And it\u2019s not a pretty situation.\u00a0 Apparently, he really nailed him.\u00a0 Practically spit the thing in two.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s where it gets really gross.\u00a0 The dog is still alive.<\/p>\n

Luckily for the dog, a veterinarian was immediately available.\u00a0 The vet jumps into action.\u00a0 He grabs one of those \u201cgo to doggy heaven\u201d syringes, and dispatches the poor soul to his maker.<\/p>\n

Now, any normal person would figure this is where the story ends.\u00a0 But no.<\/p>\n

Within a day or two, a bouquet of flowers arrives at the dog owner\u2019s home with a heartfelt condolence card.\u00a0 But no.\u00a0 This is NOT where the story ends.<\/p>\n

At the end of the month, the owner walks out to his mailbox, and what does he find?\u00a0 A BILL for the cost of euthanizing the dog that the veterinarian ran over.<\/p>\n

But NO, this is STILL NOT where the story ends.\u00a0 Here is the end of the story\u2013<\/p>\n

The guy PAID THE BILL!<\/p>\n

Maybe I should have titled this column, The World\u2019s Best Veterinarian Customer.<\/p>\n

_______<\/p>\n

WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Earn good karma!\u00a0 Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I shamelessly stole this story from a friend who I will refer to for the purposes of this column as \u201cBo.\u201d\u00a0 This is because his true, accurate and legal name is Bo Mackey.\u00a0 Bo told me this story in confidence, so please, whatever you do, keep it to yourself.\u00a0 It is now my favorite story.\u00a0 […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[18,532,768,769],"class_list":["post-1557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-funny","tag-humor","tag-veterinarian","tag-veterinarian-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1557"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1557\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1563,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1557\/revisions\/1563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}