{"id":154,"date":"2013-10-03T08:26:38","date_gmt":"2013-10-03T15:26:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=154"},"modified":"2018-07-25T19:25:10","modified_gmt":"2018-07-26T02:25:10","slug":"five-reasons-miley-cyrus-adopt-justin-bieber","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=154","title":{"rendered":"Five Reasons Miley Cyrus Should Adopt Justin Bieber"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Miley<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

The hoopla surrounding Miley Cyrus\u2019 artistic performance at the Video Music Awards show is quickly dissipating.\u00a0 Experienced media experts predict her foam finger will stop making headlines in only three to five more years. \u00a0Unfortunately, I missed the VMA show.\u00a0 A scheduling conflict prevented me from enjoying this year\u2019s program — I had to clean the lint from my dryer.\u00a0 But like Michigan mosquitoes in July, Miley\u2019s spectacle was impossible to ignore as it swamped the mainstream media.\u00a0 I was practically\u00a0forced to watch it at gun point.\u00a0 Having now seen it, and as a marginally responsible adult, I call on all other marginally responsible adults to step up and assist this wayward young woman.\u00a0 And by this, I mean encouraging her to adopt a child.\u00a0 But not just any child.\u00a0 Justin Bieber.\u00a0 There are five reasons.<\/p>\n

First, it would provide both Miley and Justin with much needed media attention.\u00a0 Each has been \u201cacting out\u201d as of late.\u00a0 This may be due to their wallowing in the shadows of less talented musical performers for too long.\u00a0 Living in the shadows with pent up talent is a recipe for disaster.\u00a0 Justin\u2019s adoption could prevent another explosion\u2026 of bad taste.<\/p>\n

Second, Justin could use positive guidance.\u00a0 According to the tabloid headlines I am forced to march past when I buy my groceries, it appears that the fresh-face tike has gotten irascibly sassy as of late.\u00a0 He could use the solid grounding that someone like Grandpa Billy Ray could provide.\u00a0 They say that the proof of the pudding is in the making, and all you have to do is look at how Miley turned out\u2026. ummm.\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, let me switch to another tired phrase: Second time\u2019s the charm!<\/p>\n

Third, being a single mom has done wonders for so many millions of American girls, and there is no reason it wouldn\u2019t have the same character-building effect on Miley.\u00a0 It\u2019s unlikely that she\u2019d have the energy to offend millions of viewers after helping Justin with his homework and overseeing his household chores.\u00a0 In no time at all, we\u2019d be enjoying a performance of \u201cMiley Unplugged.\u201d\u00a0 As a side note, I think I speak for America when I thank MTV for giving us \u201c16 and Pregnant\u201d to help promote the benefits of teenage single parenthood.<\/p>\n

Fourth, it is unlikely to require the display of very much nudity.\u00a0 It\u2019s not even likely to require the faux nudity that the 13-year-old producers of this year\u2019s VMA show hoisted upon Miley.<\/p>\n

And last, the arrangement would finally allow television producers to make good on creating that semi-retro comedy series they\u2019ve bantered about for years: \u201cLeave it to Bieber.\u201d\u00a0 Oh, the jocularious hijinks those two could present given 30 minutes a week (well, 20 minutes after commercials).\u00a0 We\u2019d all be lapping it up like hogs at the trough.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that Miley shouldn\u2019t first consult with her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, to make sure he was \u201ccool\u201d with being a grandfather.\u00a0 It would be a big change for him, what with all the little league practices and fishing trips.\u00a0 But it would be something that Billy Ray and Miley could enjoy together.\u00a0 It would strengthen their bond.<\/p>\n

So there you have it.<\/p>\n

Is it too early to set the TiVo for next year\u2019s VMA show?\u00a0 I fear the lint in my dryer is building up again.<\/b><\/p>\n

________<\/p>\n

WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Earn good karma!\u00a0 Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The hoopla surrounding Miley Cyrus\u2019 artistic performance at the Video Music Awards show is quickly dissipating.\u00a0 Experienced media experts predict her foam finger will stop making headlines in only three to five more years. \u00a0Unfortunately, I missed the VMA show.\u00a0 A scheduling conflict prevented me from enjoying this year\u2019s program — I had to clean […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[63,62,6,64],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-justin-bieber","tag-miley-cyrus","tag-parenting","tag-vma"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1408,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions\/1408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}